He came to me the night he died.
But in my dream he was still alive.
He told me he was sorry, but had to move on.
He let me know he would always love me,
and for me not to cry, or ask god why.
With those words,
he gently grabbed my hand and placed it on the center of his chest.
As he held it there, I could feel rhythmic thumping decelerate.
When his heartbeat came to a cold halt,
he gradually faded into the blackness.
When I couldn't see him anymore,
I started to cry,"Please don't leave me Grandpa."
But before the words came I awoke.
Tears flowing down my cheeks.
I thought to myself ,"At least it was only a dream."
Not a second later the phone rang.
It was my mom with the dreadful news.
She said he died a painless death, that his heart just needed to rest.
Three days later they put my grandpa in the ground.
As days turned into weeks, weeks into months, the grief and tear filled eyes slowly disappeared.
The cut made on my heart was turned into a scar.
Thoughts of how sad I was, slipped my mind.
People said how surpised they were to see me taking it so well, since I used to be so close.
When they ask me how I kept from crumbling down.
I just smile and say,"He came to me the night he died, but in my dream he was still alive."
| You might want to reread the 7th line...is it missing a word.|
center(of) his chest...end of the 7th line.
Another good write...
If you do not already have them.Print out a few copies of each of your poems.For yourself to use as work sheets.Keep them where you can look at them easly.One in awhile read them over again and again.You will find yourself making notes and changes on the over the coming years.
Maybe adding to it or taking stuff away.
I do this and sometimes it can help out in showing depths and meaning in what you write.
keep it up
|| Posted on 2006-12-03 00:00:00 | by Postillion | [ Reply to This ] || it's a good poem... I like it... and I'm sorry about your grandfather|
|| Posted on 2006-12-01 00:00:00 | by babygirl09 | [ Reply to This ] || hey thats preatty cool writting I like it thats an good way to write keep up the good work, ty||| Posted on 2006-11-29 00:00:00 | by ty | [ Reply to This ] || well|
this poem sounds more like a story, so i would suggest reading it like a story, and ending it like a story.
Im not going to say how you should end it, because I know that if you read it enough, or work on it, itll come to you. good write, and Im sorry your grandfather passed away.
|| Posted on 2006-11-29 00:00:00 | by itsjustme22 | [ Reply to This ] |