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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Beat Goes Ondots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: itsjustme22
    ASL Info:    19/f/CA
    Elite Ratio:    3.52 - 237/114/38
    Words: 125
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 103
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 836



    Description:
       music=emotion


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Beat Goes Ondots
    -------------------------------------------


    Sound waves push through my mind;
    my muscles twitch to this beat;
    ears attentive to each word spoken:
    I don't miss a syllable.
    I seem to forget about my brain
    I don't think- I feel the source
    of my pain
    heavy on my chest,
    constricting my lungs,
    I can't focus.
    The music removes me and
    I get lost in the sounds.
    I hear nothing but this noise
    pulsating through my veins.

    I listen to this voice
    speaking to me;
    I try to sleep but I'm
    restless still.

    I'm open, bleeding,
    and I have no reaction.
    Pop another pill and knock out
    the music still carrying on.
    I wake up in a cold sweat
    turn up the music and
    continue to
    listen.




    Submitted on 2006-11-29 19:24:38     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      reading it you can feel everything, its a nice piece, hard to do without rhyme.. but it definetly gets a reaction, made me hold my breath.. nice job
    | Posted on 2007-01-17 00:00:00 | by tennisfuzz | [ Reply to This ]
      Wonderful. I can totally relate. I mean... i dont have anymore words left to say what I think about it.
    | Posted on 2007-01-09 00:00:00 | by isuperhero | [ Reply to This ]
      deep sadness... i agree this is a mature peice of writing... it flows so nicely and that is what makes a poem excellent not the rhyme
    Katana
    | Posted on 2006-12-01 00:00:00 | by Katana Ryoko | [ Reply to This ]
      Frenetic, insistant, hammering, clamoring...you have achieved all this in the poem...not an easy thing to do, especially without rhyme...this IS very finely done, even mature...you deserve several big fat "bravos"...BRAVO...BRAVO...BRAVO!!!...Michael
    | Posted on 2006-11-30 00:00:00 | by Algol46 | [ Reply to This ]



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    January 10 07
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