Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Booksdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Old
    Elite Ratio:    3.12 - 69/98/93
    Words: 135
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 737
    Average Vote:    3.0000
    Bytes: 963



    Description:
       mheh. i don't know. it is a poem. enjoy it.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBooksdots
    -------------------------------------------


    All that is ask for
    is turning to ashes.

    Or,
    disappeared as if
    twas' writting in some
    forgotten tome.

    Beg for mercy,
    beg for help.

    see,
    when it's about
    me, no one listens;
    my destroyed visions.

    Only truth can set
    a person free

    but,
    often times, you'll see,
    it hurts, but pain is real
    the few things you feel

    to be written in a book.
    A lengthy and momentious

    book.
    One that says to be sinless.
    Though, it is impossible to try
    so that you may go to heaven when you die.

    All problems big and
    small are put to light.

    Bland,
    though it is known to be right.
    Problems turn to progress
    even with life lived impetuous.

    God has grace.
    Problems will be overcome.




    Submitted on 2006-11-29 22:13:46     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      well ,that was a little different, I found it a little hard to read, just because of the wording but I wouldn't chnage anything, but there is one that looks really weird to me is

    "All that is ask for
    is turning to ashes."

    when I read that I stopped and reread it then I reread it again, then I was like is it supposed to be like that or should it be asked, I really think that it should be asked because that would make more sense and make it easier to read but if not ok.

    I really like how you are refering to the bible, one book that brought it all into sight for me because at first I was sure if I was right in thinking that's what you were talking about.

    I really love the lines

    "to be written in a book.
    A lengthy and momentious

    book."

    I saw that and was like it is so true, that damn thing is so long and the print is so tiny.

    I do have to say I like this poem a lot, even thought I don't believe that there is a god.

    ~liz~
    | Posted on 2006-11-30 00:00:00 | by Fadingperson | [ Reply to This ]
      The style you use to set out the stanzas, looks novel , have not ever seen this before, very interesting


    This poem, seems, to be hopeful, slowing moving from bad things, towards God, excellent

    Your rhyming style seems chaotic, at first, and fits the poem very well, but when going over the poem, seeing its actually a very organized rhyme scheme, I must congratulate you, on the hidden rhyming, its very good at tying the poem together
    | Posted on 2006-11-30 00:00:00 | by Static Scream | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    126970

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    To Glow written by krs3332003
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    The Promise written by annie0888
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    Break Up written by WriteSomething
    Linger written by saartha
    Wavelength written by saartha
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    untitled written by Chelebel
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry