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    dots Submission Name: Booksdots

    Author: Old
    Elite Ratio:    3.12 - 69/98/93
    Words: 135
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 737
    Average Vote:    3.0000
    Bytes: 963

       mheh. i don't know. it is a poem. enjoy it.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    All that is ask for
    is turning to ashes.

    disappeared as if
    twas' writting in some
    forgotten tome.

    Beg for mercy,
    beg for help.

    when it's about
    me, no one listens;
    my destroyed visions.

    Only truth can set
    a person free

    often times, you'll see,
    it hurts, but pain is real
    the few things you feel

    to be written in a book.
    A lengthy and momentious

    One that says to be sinless.
    Though, it is impossible to try
    so that you may go to heaven when you die.

    All problems big and
    small are put to light.

    though it is known to be right.
    Problems turn to progress
    even with life lived impetuous.

    God has grace.
    Problems will be overcome.

    Submitted on 2006-11-29 22:13:46     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      well ,that was a little different, I found it a little hard to read, just because of the wording but I wouldn't chnage anything, but there is one that looks really weird to me is

    "All that is ask for
    is turning to ashes."

    when I read that I stopped and reread it then I reread it again, then I was like is it supposed to be like that or should it be asked, I really think that it should be asked because that would make more sense and make it easier to read but if not ok.

    I really like how you are refering to the bible, one book that brought it all into sight for me because at first I was sure if I was right in thinking that's what you were talking about.

    I really love the lines

    "to be written in a book.
    A lengthy and momentious


    I saw that and was like it is so true, that damn thing is so long and the print is so tiny.

    I do have to say I like this poem a lot, even thought I don't believe that there is a god.

    | Posted on 2006-11-30 00:00:00 | by Fadingperson | [ Reply to This ]
      The style you use to set out the stanzas, looks novel , have not ever seen this before, very interesting

    This poem, seems, to be hopeful, slowing moving from bad things, towards God, excellent

    Your rhyming style seems chaotic, at first, and fits the poem very well, but when going over the poem, seeing its actually a very organized rhyme scheme, I must congratulate you, on the hidden rhyming, its very good at tying the poem together
    | Posted on 2006-11-30 00:00:00 | by Static Scream | [ Reply to This ]

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