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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Melody Leedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Aken Sol
    Elite Ratio:    3.93 - 197/204/67
    Words: 319
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 530
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1946



    Description:
       I followed EAP's format and rhyme sceme for this one. Let me know what you all think.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMelody Leedots
    -------------------------------------------


    If only I heeded the warnings before,
    That prophets had made me see.
    But I needed to heal the wounds I wore
    By her, my Love, Melody Lee.
    I would hold her in my arms out of harms way
    From woes that rose at her and me.

    Unimaginable was the way
    That prophets had made me see.
    They were sounds that bounded my heart for my Love,
    Made by my Melody Lee.
    And no one could hear the soft whispers she gave
    To me and only me.

    The truth was given from the time before
    That prophets had made me see.
    The words they had said were so chilling
    They'd frozen my Melody Lee.
    The thought had left me in dismay;
    My Love had cheated on me.
    Burned inside my mind was the image
    That prophets had made me see.

    Yet no one could hear the soft whispers she gave
    Men who were other then me.
    There were now words against whom I adore
    That prophets had made me see.
    The relentless skies were hunting in gray,
    And chilling my willing Melody Lee.

    But I trusted much more in my love for my Love.
    I just wanted her melody;
    The sweet song of her melody.
    I wanted it more when I saw her above.
    I ran to her just in time to see
    A bang that rang of a magnum forty-four,
    That fell my falling Melody Lee.

    So in the spring, the flowers and sunshine will bring
    Me memories of Melody Lee.
    And the fall has never forgotten to recall
    The warmth I shared with Melody Lee.
    With nothing left to say, all I can do is pray
    That my mind will find forever her voice will stay.
    But the image I always see
    Are lies the prophets had made me see.


    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    With apologies to Edgar Allan Poe's "Annabel Lee"




    Submitted on 2006-11-30 17:23:42     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Couldn't you maybe change it to Melody Rose or something?
    | Posted on 2006-11-30 00:00:00 | by Aurora-Borealis | [ Reply to This ]
      uh. aurora is missing the point. anyways. this is good... but i'm guessing this is your first parody? it is a little too similar to annabel lee and the first like 4 stanzas are basically saying the same thing. the whole prophets seeing this happening is old by the end of the poem. i think you could have done more with this. but the thing is, you're probably bitter about her cheating on you. annabel lee is a sad poem about the narrator losing his beautiful bride to death. that's what romanticism is all about, what poe is all about, death and things like that. but i think it's cute you called her Melody Lee even though her middle name probably isn't Lee. because then people will know without you telling them that this is a annabel lee knockoff basically. i think this is a cute way to talk about what happened to you. and it probably made you feel better? like therapy. poetry is great that way.

    but at least you gave credit. that's the most important thing. poets and songwriters on here would kick your a** if you steal other people's work, famous or otherwise and don't give credit.
    | Posted on 2006-12-01 00:00:00 | by narcolepsy | [ Reply to This ]


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