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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Final Endingdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: darkeveris
    ASL Info:    19/F/Someplace silent
    Elite Ratio:    2.52 - 34/62/38
    Words: 270
    Class/Type: Poetry/Venting
    Total Views: 691
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1568



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFinal Endingdots
    -------------------------------------------


    So once again guess what,
    You do 1000 wrongs yet its ok.
    Ignore me as a child ,
    Destroy my child hood dreams,
    Ripped apart my world of fairy tales.

    Children are children not adults.
    Yet somehow in some way,
    With all your flaws and all,
    I loved you with all my heart.
    Since I was your Favorite daughter and all.

    After ripping apart my family,
    Blaming it on my dad,
    You have the nerve to act like .
    No blame was to lay on you,
    Sure I am happy you came to my grad .

    Yet once again with out laying a finger,
    You ruined one of the many days,
    Special left that I had .
    Now after acting like you wanted to be in my life,
    You turn around and put the blame to me.

    Acting like I put a sword to your life,
    Sure go ahead blame me for not wanting to be hurt.
    Thinking that my family could get along ,
    Sure ignore me stop calling,,
    Go ahead continue to block me out.

    No longer do I care about your misshapen life,
    I head no regrets to what ever I did ,
    To make you hurt inside.
    I am sick of the promises that you made,
    And I have had enough of you .

    Narcissistic mother of mine,
    Now my love for you has been replaced with pity,
    Hope you have fun enjoying your life with out family.
    Because my heart and soul lays behind,
    50 titanium walls .

    Never to be seen or heard by you again.




    Submitted on 2006-11-30 20:10:53     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      this was Serious...The short prepositional phrases had impact. As i read the post, it flowed well, you just have to read it right...This is more like a Slam poetry type write...In my opninion...Something to be recited with anger and true feeling..

    Good work..although its too bad you had feelings to write a topic about this...

    But no one can hate someone for venting..

    Keep it up

    Sincerely Sinceer
    | Posted on 2006-12-04 00:00:00 | by SinCeer05 | [ Reply to This ]
      You get your feeling of anger towards your mother across pretty well but it's not particularly poetic.Something so personal perhaps makes you write irrationally(if this piece is about you as I'm sure it is).An attempt to structure the lines and verses or rhyming may give it more appeal to others.As it is, it's just a jumble of accusations rather than anything poetic.
    Cheers
    A.C
    | Posted on 2006-12-01 00:00:00 | by Asakura Cowboy | [ Reply to This ]


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