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    dots Submission Name: Waist Deep In Itdots

    Author: Keaton Volkov
    ASL Info:    18/M/Ohio
    Elite Ratio:    4.73 - 22/17/13
    Words: 73
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 782
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 475

       This was probably one of my first attempts at poetry that wasn't totally depressing, and I just let the words flow from my mind to the paper.Definetely not the best, and probably needs a ton of work, but I needed to start somewhere and wanted some comments/thoughts/suggestions. Thanks a ton.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWaist Deep In Itdots

    In the chalice of fall, the mists whisper,
    My love for you has never been crisper.
    As I watch the leaves fall to the ground,
    The thought of you turns my frown around.

    To be with you would be the ultimate prize;
    I long to stare deeply into your eyes.
    But for now, what I have is alright,
    I have thoughts of you to keep me up at night.

    Submitted on 2006-12-01 23:07:25     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This piece has a genuine simplicity to it and it shows promise for future improvement in your lyrical writing. As you gain more life experiences you will find verse writing will become a bit easier and a great deal more deeply involved.
    | Posted on 2007-04-10 00:00:00 | by ErgoIgo | [ Reply to This ]
      I like it... and it makes me remember how I used to be with this guy. But I'm glad I broke away... Alot of my poems are about him. ^-^ You should write more. I like your style. It's hot.
    | Posted on 2007-01-06 00:00:00 | by BrokenAngelKat | [ Reply to This ]
      I like it. Short, simple and flows very nicely. I'm the worst at revisions so I don't really have suggestions.
    | Posted on 2006-12-02 00:00:00 | by MyWorld | [ Reply to This ]

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