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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Waist Deep In Itdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Keaton Volkov
    ASL Info:    18/M/Ohio
    Elite Ratio:    4.73 - 22/17/13
    Words: 73
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 148
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 475



    Description:
       This was probably one of my first attempts at poetry that wasn't totally depressing, and I just let the words flow from my mind to the paper.Definetely not the best, and probably needs a ton of work, but I needed to start somewhere and wanted some comments/thoughts/suggestions. Thanks a ton.


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    dotsWaist Deep In Itdots
    -------------------------------------------


    In the chalice of fall, the mists whisper,
    
My love for you has never been crisper.
    
As I watch the leaves fall to the ground,
    
The thought of you turns my frown around.
    

    
To be with you would be the ultimate prize;
    
I long to stare deeply into your eyes.
    
But for now, what I have is alright,
    
I have thoughts of you to keep me up at night.




    Submitted on 2006-12-01 23:07:25     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This piece has a genuine simplicity to it and it shows promise for future improvement in your lyrical writing. As you gain more life experiences you will find verse writing will become a bit easier and a great deal more deeply involved.
    | Posted on 2007-04-10 00:00:00 | by ErgoIgo | [ Reply to This ]
      I like it... and it makes me remember how I used to be with this guy. But I'm glad I broke away... Alot of my poems are about him. ^-^ You should write more. I like your style. It's hot.
    | Posted on 2007-01-06 00:00:00 | by BrokenAngelKat | [ Reply to This ]
      I like it. Short, simple and flows very nicely. I'm the worst at revisions so I don't really have suggestions.
    | Posted on 2006-12-02 00:00:00 | by MyWorld | [ Reply to This ]



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    January 10 07
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