Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Waist Deep In Itdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Keaton Volkov
    ASL Info:    18/M/Ohio
    Elite Ratio:    4.73 - 22/17/13
    Words: 73
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 782
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 475



    Description:
       This was probably one of my first attempts at poetry that wasn't totally depressing, and I just let the words flow from my mind to the paper.Definetely not the best, and probably needs a ton of work, but I needed to start somewhere and wanted some comments/thoughts/suggestions. Thanks a ton.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWaist Deep In Itdots
    -------------------------------------------


    In the chalice of fall, the mists whisper,
    My love for you has never been crisper.
    As I watch the leaves fall to the ground,
    The thought of you turns my frown around.

    To be with you would be the ultimate prize;
    I long to stare deeply into your eyes.
    But for now, what I have is alright,
    I have thoughts of you to keep me up at night.




    Submitted on 2006-12-01 23:07:25     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This piece has a genuine simplicity to it and it shows promise for future improvement in your lyrical writing. As you gain more life experiences you will find verse writing will become a bit easier and a great deal more deeply involved.
    | Posted on 2007-04-10 00:00:00 | by ErgoIgo | [ Reply to This ]
      I like it... and it makes me remember how I used to be with this guy. But I'm glad I broke away... Alot of my poems are about him. ^-^ You should write more. I like your style. It's hot.
    | Posted on 2007-01-06 00:00:00 | by BrokenAngelKat | [ Reply to This ]
      I like it. Short, simple and flows very nicely. I'm the worst at revisions so I don't really have suggestions.
    | Posted on 2006-12-02 00:00:00 | by MyWorld | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    127170

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    Live In Between written by teika5
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Rooted in Nature written by Chelebel
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    Lie back & tan written by Daniel Barlow
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    Gaia written by endlessgame23

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry