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Bullets Part Air

Author: Aj
ASL Info:    21/M/MI
Elite Ratio:    3.25 - 102 /110 /29
Words: 526
Class/Type: Story /Death
Total Views: 1176
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 3241


Bullets Part Air

"it's just a pipedream", she murmured under her breath
as she inhaled a cloud of noxious chemical fumes.
you won't go any where thinking that way. it won't work.
you'll give up before you see your dream comes true.

that weekend he hitched a ride with a friend to the show.
there he hung out with friends he hadn't seen in ages it seemed.
his favorite bands played there hearts out. kids ran around
and yelled along with the music as if the world was listening

there he met her for the first time, there he met a new friend.
she smiled at him from across the room, he knew right then and there.
they stood in the corner and exchanged tales of events already gone
and they pondered the future to come.

there he met a guitar player looking to start a band. then another.
together they decided they would meet every wednesday.
every week in the basement at his mom's house. there they'd
begin to construct songs about politics, and the fight against "them"

his mother didn't like the idea. she snarled at him. "you'll never get any where"
"you'll never amount to nothing. just like your father. he wouldn't be proud of you"
he ignored her hate driven words. he knew his dad had left because of her.
his dad didn't think dragging his son across country would work. so his son stayed.

the boy snuck out that night. he met his girl at the edge of the woods near her house.
they walked to a clearing in the woods. laying under the stars that night he asked
if she had ever been kissed. the answer was no. he kissed her soft lips. the moon
and the stars above witnessed the cementing of a foundation that would last.

his mother sent him to the store the next day. she stopped off at the bar.
he walked down Bridge Street. turned down Wilson and walked through
the desolate streets of the small town he called home. he approached the cornerstore, he opened
the door and entered. gun shots rang out. he was struck in the chest. pronounced dead on arrival.

he had walked in on an armed robber holding the clerk at gun piont
it's quite ironic though, the gunman looked familiar. like a stranger from
the past. the man had been layed off. hungry and homeless the man
decided to return to a familiar place. a place he had left behind before.

the boys mother wept for days. she wished she could take back all the
harsh words she had inflicted upon her son. she never drank again.
the love of his life left a note for her parents. she wished them farewell.
she'll be buried the day after him.

their family's will both mourn the same. they'll miss their children and they'll
remember the smiles, the laughs, the teenage mood swings, the way they spoke of thier dreams, the sparkle in thier eye. "live and love everyday" etched on his gray headstone, his dreams forgotten and gone.

Submitted on 2004-05-31 00:21:21     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  This is so sweet...very sad and tragic...but sweet. My parents ay the same things to me. It sucks. Sometimes I wonder though that if I were dead, would they care and regret how they've always treated me? Like in your story. At first I didn't quite catch onto it, but as the plot thickened, I got very interested. The only thing I really had trouble with was the capitalization. But thats all. All in all it was a really good story and you should keep it up.
| Posted on 2004-05-31 00:00:00 | by Broken heart dies | [ Reply to This ]
  This is definately a compelling story. I think you could elaborate more on that night that the band formed. What did they talk about? What were they like? I would be interesting in reading more about the main character's life. I think you should name him Nicely. just kidding. But it would be cool if you could give them names. I enjoyed the read, and I hope to see an extended version of the piece. Nice work.
| Posted on 2004-05-31 00:00:00 | by nicelyJ | [ Reply to This ]

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