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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Nimraudots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Porcelaine
    ASL Info:    27/F/Croatia
    Elite Ratio:    3.9 - 880/703/256
    Words: 189
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 656
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1229



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsNimraudots
    -------------------------------------------


    Where have you been when the waters ran slow
    When the talons grew distant
    And the skies beckoned a blue distortion like the waterlilies
    Through the rays of silver and flamboyant

    I cast away the shadow of a pilgrim from my dusted old road
    And seeked your traces against the abominal horizon
    Painted in fury and bloodshed marble
    Going nowhere…going…

    I dug the winds within my palms to hear you through my veins
    Should your voice call out…troubled
    Should you lose your calamity and suffer my quakes
    Dim 'neath the face of giants of ash

    Do your feet abandon now the reigns of these ghoul mists
    Landing you far, so far into the great unseen
    I cannot feel you anymore
    How has it come to this, my solemn heart of stone

    Pale is my fortune tied against the bedposts of fate
    Marred with silk and sorrowful beauty …screaming
    My skin…like paper…cuts the land to be fed to your fingers
    Only quiet storms of Jupiter deem it's fearful slumber

    But you're going nowhere…going…












    Submitted on 2006-12-03 09:01:10     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Lovely, and sooo mysterious ... you take us on a poetic journey to strange lands, be they of an outer or inner realm .... (you mention "reigns" in the poem, and I'm wondering if you mean "reins" ... In line 4 you have "flamboyant" when, in my very humble opinion, "flamboyance" might be a much better word ...) once again, excellent ... bravo ... bravo ... bravo ... Michael
    | Posted on 2006-12-04 00:00:00 | by Algol46 | [ Reply to This ]
      your poem is for me very mystical, vivid ,tragic with an exeptional use of the english language,
    im not saying i always understand the meanings behind your work, but that doesn,t have anything to do with the fact that i really enjoy reading them. it,s like going into another world for a short time,and feeling sad when you have to leave again.
    gerry
    | Posted on 2006-12-03 00:00:00 | by bogeyman | [ Reply to This ]
      ...going nowhere... I like this poem a lot... quite my taste of "neverending pain and sorrow"... when you "loose" somebody... even if that somebody is yourself.
    | Posted on 2006-12-03 00:00:00 | by Non-Sens-Uality | [ Reply to This ]
      This is an interesting transition from your usual themes.
    As usual your work is quite visual, I'm quite enjoying that.
    Since you've pretty much gotten used to me comments, I shall just note my favourite lines have to be the last two lines of the first stanza. The stuff there is lovely.
    Cheers, was never really good at these themes :)
    Azuire
    | Posted on 2006-12-03 00:00:00 | by Azuire | [ Reply to This ]
      Porcelaine, again amazed by your poetry. Brings to mind of ancient times, and positioning of words, your work always gives me goose bumbs. Always a pleasure to read, my mind floats adrift and i see a place and surroundings when reading your work. Like a story in my mind.... would luv to see a part two to this piece. Best regards

    Robert
    DaRaven
    | Posted on 2006-12-03 00:00:00 | by DaRaven | [ Reply to This ]


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