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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Every Inch A Man.dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: azure_warrior
    ASL Info:    42 /m/ in my mind.
    Elite Ratio:    5.43 - 44/43/32
    Words: 99
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 901
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 643



    Description:
       Some people are born with a birth defect. They are born with both the sex organs of a male and a female.
    It is easier for the doctors to mutilate, remove the male organ.
    The doctors, until recently, believed that the baby was a girl, because of what they saw.
    No one ever asked the kids.
    It seems now that the male or female brain is independant and actually what makes the man or woman.
    There are people walking around where the doctors made the wrong choice.
    And correcting it is more difficult than climbing Mount Rushmore
    At least according to one victim who did both.
    I'd appreciate any help you could give me on this poem, which is quite new.
    Thanks.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsEvery Inch A Man.dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Always and forever,
    he is determined.

    He runs full force,
    and smashes into your narrow wall of pain

    that you leave up as a joke,
    to you, golden you, acceptable you.

    You sneer at his determination.
    You call him an idiot, a fool, and even a woman!

    But still he runs full force onward,
    stretching every fibre of his being,

    while you flick your cigarettes,
    and sip your martinis, amused.

    Still he runs. He will give all and never stop,
    because someday somebody may see him.







    Submitted on 2006-12-03 22:50:40     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      im having difficulty finding the cntre of the poem, whether it is that this man needs to be seen, or if its because he is ridiculed. also, the person this is directed at, you seem divided on your opinion of them.
    the imaging is pretty hard to understand. at the moment you are just narating. not letting us feel what is ging on.
    | Posted on 2006-12-05 00:00:00 | by eowyn | [ Reply to This ]
      THis is a really interesting poem, but I'm not sure I understand some of the seeminly contratradictory imagery.

    My fist confusion comes because at first this seems like a very personal poem between two people, but then you end with the possibility that his motivation may be the perception of others.
    Next if someone is able to smash into a wall of pain I don't know if I would classify it as narrow and why would anyone leave themself in pain as a joke. Is it a masocistic joke?
    In line 8 I would take out and even and leave the line ...a fool, a woman! It reads much cleaner.
    I really like the image that
    "while you flick your cigarettes,
    and sip your martinis, amused." conjures up. Very Betty Davis at her best.

    Cool poem. I'm not sure if it's supposed to be twisted or if the subject of the poem is just in denial.

    Rick
    | Posted on 2006-12-05 00:00:00 | by tagit | [ Reply to This ]


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