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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Mind Orbiting Feathers Ablazedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: forevermountain
    ASL Info:    17/m/bellingham,WA USA
    Elite Ratio:    4.72 - 20/17/29
    Words: 47
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 644
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 347



    Description:
       well if you want a line by line description this isnt really it but whatever. This poem is sort of a vent/emotional teen angsty whatever you call it but whatever. basically i feel trapped within my daily routine. its pretty clear cut but the main thing im saying is that i feel depressed even though it isnt exactly depression and nothing terrible has happened, its just something inside me longing to be free or change perhaps (a rebirth? "phoenix") also the phoenix and the turtle images i picked up from shakespeares poem "The Phoenix and the Turtle". it also seems that some ideas and dreams just werent meant to be for me. even though i long for them to materialize somehow within my 'haze' they remain separated.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMind Orbiting Feathers Ablazedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Haze and my affection mingled together

    Tonight congealed assunder

    For forty minutes (no more) I struck

    Fist on chest crying.

    Wasn't Death Hope or Luck

    Just my phoenix prying

    To loose its fiery spread

    Of this turtle shell.





    Submitted on 2006-12-04 00:04:09     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      this a well crafted and well thought out piece of angsty art. you paint well with words, my friend. i think that the passion for your dreams as well as the forlornness of not attaining them are both exquisitely produced here. sometimes living life and fulfilling one's dreams can feel like shooting dice. one can only hope for the best. this was a very strong write. it produced some very strong portraits in my mind. well done! great write! ii look forward to reading more of your work.

    God bless you.
    john-paul
    | Posted on 2006-12-31 00:00:00 | by rev.jpfadeproof | [ Reply to This ]
      this a well crafted and well thought out piece of angsty art. you paint well with words, my friend. i think that the passion for your dreams as well as the forlornness of not attaining them are both exquisitely produced here. sometimes living life and fulfilling one's dreams can feel like shooting dice. one can only hope for the best. this was a very strong write. it produced some very strong portraits in my mind. well done! great write! ii look forward to reading more of your work.

    God bless you.
    john-paul
    | Posted on 2006-12-31 00:00:00 | by rev.jpfadeproof | [ Reply to This ]


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    January 10 07
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