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    dots Submission Name: lustful eyesdots

    Author: aNNmARIE
    ASL Info:    20/female/ unknown
    Elite Ratio:    5.67 - 88/50/19
    Words: 95
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 1111
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 662

       A parquette the first line is always the same, It goes abca abcb acbc abcc

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotslustful eyesdots

    Lustful eyes scan the night
    Thy face fall upon me
    I have the one I love,
    though declining is still a fight.

    Lustful eyes scan the night.
    While the shameless heart targets me
    Eyes brazenly emerged determined to rule
    Only my lovers face shall I see.

    Lustful eyes scan the night.
    Thy tender innocence on display,
    Jealous hearts about to break,
    as it's only my lovers name I shall say.

    Lustful eyes scan the night,
    dancing indisputably with thy other half
    develish glints hoplessly departed
    as our romance goes on uncharted.

    Submitted on 2006-12-04 16:47:37     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
    Whoever says that they don't enjoy a good bout of lust is lying. When in lust you allow yourself to make decisions that you know are absolutely wrong. It's kind of like Loves Satan.
    Love it,
    | Posted on 2007-09-19 00:00:00 | by Spin | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow, this really hit home. It makes me think of my love, well it would if I wasn't already thinking about him all the time. Anyway, point is, this was written well and awesome. It flowed nicely, rhymed well, and the emotion was portrayed nicely. Keep up the awesome work, and I'll keep reading

    Saint Raxor
    | Posted on 2007-05-19 00:00:00 | by brknprclndol | [ Reply to This ]
      wow. this is really good.
    lovely, simply, lovely.
    | Posted on 2007-02-07 00:00:00 | by XmaryjaneX | [ Reply to This ]
      The repetition deffinatly does comply to the point. I have to agree, with the irregular rhyme somewhat diminishes the read, because it doesn't possess a consistent flow.

    I'm not a big fan of love poems, but Love is something I've experienced so at times I don't mind reading some. expecially yours. you yet again, did a splendid job at portraying your emotions through words.
    | Posted on 2006-12-17 00:00:00 | by Pprophet | [ Reply to This ]
      The repetition fortifies the impression. However the rhyme is irregular, some places you have it, some places you don't. That makes the flow a little of too. I like the idea but I'm not keen on reading love poems much. It's not exactly my style.
    | Posted on 2006-12-10 00:00:00 | by Porcelaine | [ Reply to This ]

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