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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The mirrordots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: aNNmARIE
    ASL Info:    20/female/ unknown
    Elite Ratio:    5.67 - 88/50/19
    Words: 125
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 871
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 747



    Description:
       One day I had just realized how much the world has changed and molded me. Some days more then others and I wanted to share my thoughts


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe mirrordots
    -------------------------------------------


    I look into the mirror,
    and I hate what it is I see.
    A woman molded and crumpled,
    To do what the world wants of me.

    It takes out bits and pieces here,
    memories and emotions there.
    Soon all that is left of me,
    are pieces I can no longer bear.

    I look into that mirror,
    and at the reflection with spiteful eyes,
    no longer the woman I once was
    but only a person full of lies.

    There are knicks and bruises,
    unseen to the naked eye.
    But just as painful,
    as a swollen stye.

    I look into the mirror,
    and I hate what it is I see.
    A woman molded and crumpled,
    to do what the world wants of me.




    Submitted on 2006-12-04 16:49:40     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      nice poem. its scary how we let ourselves be molded by the world.

    i dont want to be molded.

    but once ur molded its hard to find out what ur real self is.


    peace

    Grim
    | Posted on 2007-12-18 00:00:00 | by WD-40 | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a very excellent poem, and done in the old and superb classic way. Brilliant in its simple and most wonderful conception and flawless in its execution! An absolutely terrific poem, with the final stanza identical to the first being the perfect touch! bravo ... bravo ... bravo ... I loved it! michael
    | Posted on 2007-05-15 00:00:00 | by Algol46 | [ Reply to This ]
      This is an awesome piece. Im sure practically every women out there thinks like this. And you wrote it so well. Everyone has to mold themselves to blend in and be accepted for what they arent. You got it down pat.
    It is written so well.
    | Posted on 2007-05-14 00:00:00 | by dreamer37517 | [ Reply to This ]
      I felt that the content of this piece was somewhat profound but I also felt that you allowed yourself the luxury of forcing some of the rhymes in order to maintain your rhyme scheme. This is something that we must be very careful of and always do our best to avoid.
    | Posted on 2007-05-12 00:00:00 | by ErgoIgo | [ Reply to This ]
      creepy i wrote a poem with the same tittle and the same starting line.......................
    wow.
    yours was better though.
    very nice.
    but still...
    creepy.
    | Posted on 2007-02-07 00:00:00 | by XmaryjaneX | [ Reply to This ]
      This has a really good structure, and rhyme and rhythm and great! Your story is great! Us men can't understand the story as well as you do, but the writing and poem structure in really talented! Nice work, Anne!
    | Posted on 2007-01-30 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]
      i really like it i mean no arrogance at all
    like it

    keep up the awsome job

    peace

    Fana
    | Posted on 2006-12-30 00:00:00 | by BusterLILblock | [ Reply to This ]
      this is definitely a good piece. i love how it ended, with the same lines as the opening. more often than not when a writer does that it doesn't seem to fit, however the whole thought was continuous throughout the piece so it fit perfectly. good write.

    one thing i would change is in this part "are memories I can not longer bear" not doesnt seem to fit maybe "no longer bear" would be better. maybe it's just a typo or what not.

    nevertheless... a very very good piece
    | Posted on 2006-12-17 00:00:00 | by moonlitsky | [ Reply to This ]
      This is excellent! the whole consept of this piece hits the nail on the head. it's funny how no matter what we do in life, we end up getting molded into something we can't control. experience brings on change (internal or external) and we can never stay the same. Unfortunately, more often than not, we're not happy with the changes and have to wonder why. Wonderful work.
    | Posted on 2006-12-13 00:00:00 | by Lil gal | [ Reply to This ]
      this is a geat piece. i think a lot of women will relate to this. i know i do! we get to a certain point and think..'why do i bother?'. we feel used and abused..and loose all sense of self-worth.
    the last four lines end it perfectly. fantastic job!!
    michelle
    | Posted on 2006-12-13 00:00:00 | by whirl | [ Reply to This ]
      Oh my god I love this! Great job!!
    | Posted on 2006-12-13 00:00:00 | by Jackal Of Life | [ Reply to This ]


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