i liked this poem, good flow, cool imagery, but there was one thing wrong with it. There were many occasions when you used the word "dark" and i think you should definately stay with that general dark theme. I love the idea of describing everything as dark, however, it would make the poem so much better to do it in a way that doesn't let the reader realize that everything is described as dark. Instead it just gives them that overall feeling of dreariness or solitude, or any other bleak thing that may come to mind. This won't be hard to do for this particular poem, because none of the "darks" rhyme with anything, and so you can just replace it with another adjective or adverb that means basically the same thing or gives the same effect. Sorry about this, i have the uncanny ability to ramble forever about even the smallest thing. I'm gonna shut up now, you catch my drift.
so besides that one thing, nice write! keep it up!
ahhh! much much better! i like it a lot now! i think you changed it a bit more than what i suggested too, and if you did, then i love the improvements! if you didn't, then i'm just going nutty!!!! O.o i probably am anyways....the format's different too, which looks cool. great job!