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Now Your Fool Ass Is Dead

Author: Khargath
ASL Info:    18 / Male / JC, Tenn.
Elite Ratio:    2.61 - 22 /33 /16
Words: 211
Class/Type: Poetry /Angry
Total Views: 1375
Average Vote:    5.0000
Bytes: 1240


A short poem based on someone I have been dealing with for the past year, and I finally did something about it...

Now Your Fool Ass Is Dead

I was minding my own
On a hot summer day
When you came all up on me
All harsh in my face.
Well I don’t know who
You think that you are
But I wont take that kind of shit
From a fool trying to start
A whole load of disrespect.
Uncalled for and grave.
So a rear back a fist
And throw quick to your face
As you drop to the ground
And even more’s on the way
I then tuck in my knee
And stomp your head to the ground
I’m not stopping until
I know your starting to drown
In your own sinful blood
Because you deserve nothing
I show no pity for those who
Try to make themselves something
That is not what is needed
In the world we live today
Because I spit in your face
You might remember my name
As I engrave in your head
The small designs on my ring
You’re Gonna Take all these words
All these words to the grave
And remember my fist
On that meticulous day
When I sought to destroy you
For everything that you said
Because you fucked with the wrong guy
Now your fool ass is dead.

Submitted on 2006-12-05 11:47:29     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  Hmm... Honestly, it made me feel intimidated. I don't much like anger, although this piece was nicely written. The breaks are in very distracting places at points. It reminds me of ... a night I'd rather forget, because it just reflects so much unhappy feelings. It is quite nice, in a mean way:P Very creative.
| Posted on 2008-02-14 00:00:00 | by SweetAndOhSoME | [ Reply to This ]
  Love the emotion. I like angry poems. Yep wouldn't mind doing that to someone sometimes. lol. Anyways Cool write.
Keep it up hun,
| Posted on 2006-12-09 00:00:00 | by Darklonelygirl | [ Reply to This ]
  oh the times i've thought about doing exactly this to people, *sighs*, alas i wouldn't hurt someone unless i absolutely have to and then i see red. anyhoo, i really like this piece for the emotion it conveys, that ur just not going to take it. great job
| Posted on 2006-12-05 00:00:00 | by Lil gal | [ Reply to This ]
  i think it is a good nikki said some breaks would have made it better though...other than that i liked it...i could see the fight in my head..and thought of all the times that i would love to do this to some don't we all at some point or another...nice work...~Martha~
| Posted on 2006-12-05 00:00:00 | by Martha McEntire | [ Reply to This ]
  umm not really khargath.

i actually like this though it needs a bit of polishing up and some breaks in it might get it to move along faster.

There are some intelligable remarks in here and then you have a [censored] load of anger but over all i like it.

to me though some parts could be taken out which i think is just draging a certain scene out.
"Well I don’t know who
You think that you are"
that line gave me a bit of a pause for the confusion but then i just moved on and i see some improvments. at least you dont over dramatize the beating scenes you give a certain amount of respect to one part then move on.

I dont read many of these i actually perpously avoid them cause i have nothing good to say but i dont know what drew me to this but its very well written.

"I know your starting to drown
In your own sinful blood"
this to me is my favorite line for i love the imagry and the hatefulness you instill in such few words. not only are you a great RPer you are also a decent poet. Very nice.

"Because you [censored]ed with the wrong guy
Now your fool ass is dead."
your grammer is a bit weak but i think that is because you are trying to rhyme but this does corrispond with your other lines in this poem so that is nicely done.

Well hun im going to go now and post in Tristen hope to see you soon.

all the love


| Posted on 2006-12-05 00:00:00 | by nikita2u | [ Reply to This ]
  I could have done better...
| Posted on 2006-12-05 00:00:00 | by Khargath | [ Reply to This ]

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