Behind a locked door,
Blood hit the floor,
I cradled his head in my hands,
He was fading turning bland.
His Face haunts my dreams,
And blood is always the theme,
Pain is what I feel,
And I'm willing to bet he will.
Staring death in the face,
With the knowledge now that I am a disgrace,
I sat still as could be,
But he was there when I looked behind me.
Back in reality,
Someone please kill me,
Floors Stained,
Just so much more pain,
Adrenaline got the best of me,
These won't heal too quickly,
Standing on the edge of another blackout,
But they can't hear any of my shouts.
Because on the outside I'm happy,
Would someone please kill me?
Every scream and holler,
It's hard not to faulter.
Ripping off my skin,
This is a place I haven't been,
Bleeding so much every part of me is red,
Blood-soaked sheets are a mess on my bed.
Looking back at that day,
Trying to hide everything,
Ruling out insanity,
Just calling it vanity.
I used to blow up,
And looking at the scars,
I don't want to feel that pain again,
The white puffy scar up against my tan skin.
I'm not afraid to die,
In my mind it's not suicide,
Just another cutter's mistake,
They couldn't imagine what I had to take.
Afraid someone would see,
I had to hide everything,
Confused little ripper,
Cutting didn't hold enough grip.
I had to come down sometime,
Had to have just this one thing to find.
That I couldn't help myself,
And neither could I help my health.
They sent me off,
As much as I thought I fought,
I really submitted immediatley,
My mind was so ready to flee.
Now I'm still medically high,
Everyday at the same time,
Drugs in the morning,
Drugs in the evening,
A high I don't want,
A high that haunts.
In Favor of my family,
They call this insanity. |
Submission Name: Through My Eyes
