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Goodbye, My Lover...

Author: Khargath
ASL Info:    18 / Male / JC, Tenn.
Elite Ratio:    2.61 - 22 /33 /16
Words: 134
Class/Type: Poetry /Love
Total Views: 1298
Average Vote:    4.0000
Bytes: 820


Goodbye, My Lover...

I felt weak and quite dreary
As I replayed the scene
Over and over
In my mind like a dream.

If Only I had
The chance to go back
To the day that it happened
It wouldn’t have happened like that.

I would have thought more things threw
And prepared all my words
Instead of ranting and fussing
And ending up burnt.

Burnt like a candle
Nearing the end of its days
Forever these scars
Will burden my face

Now I’m without you
And I suffer inside
For all the times that I hurt you
And all the times that I lied.

I hope that you have
A perfect life with another
Because I have let you down
Goodbye, My lover…

Submitted on 2006-12-06 09:15:47     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  zach i like this poem. and i like th reference to the candle nearing the end of it's days. very good. i feel the same way about my ex. message me sometime and we can talk i think we might have a good conversation.

| Posted on 2008-02-20 00:00:00 | by PrincessOfDark | [ Reply to This ]
  Hm.. I really love this. Most of the rhymes are quite fit. The seem to flow, and I like that. Not sure I liked the first mention of burnt. It seemed abrupt.
| Posted on 2008-02-14 00:00:00 | by SweetAndOhSoME | [ Reply to This ]
  Wow, This is good Zach...I really think that this is a good poem although some of the word chooses could have been better. I hope that things will go better for you next time but remember that somethings you just can't change no matter how much you want them to. THings will always find a way to get better so just stick it though...I love your stuff
| Posted on 2006-12-20 00:00:00 | by Lover girl | [ Reply to This ]
  yay! a nonvictim relationship poem! that's my first thought. i'm not one to give advice on poems written about situations i have no clue about so i'll simply say what i can and that's not much because i'm usually on the opposite end of what this poem is talking about. the emotion is well conveyed although the word choice can be a little boring at times. you have an individual style from what i can see so keep up the good work.
i figured i'd read something of yours since you were so kind as to comment on one of mine.
| Posted on 2006-12-10 00:00:00 | by only_a_dreamX | [ Reply to This ]
  stop blaming your self for what you cannot change
| Posted on 2006-12-06 00:00:00 | by jadasan | [ Reply to This ]

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