Goodbye, My Lover...
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Description:
Goodbye, My Lover...
I felt weak and quite dreary As I replayed the scene Over and over In my mind like a dream. If Only I had The chance to go back To the day that it happened It wouldn’t have happened like that. I would have thought more things threw And prepared all my words Instead of ranting and fussing And ending up burnt. Burnt like a candle Nearing the end of its days Forever these scars Will burden my face Now I’m without you And I suffer inside For all the times that I hurt you And all the times that I lied. I hope that you have A perfect life with another Because I have let you down Goodbye, My lover… |
Submitted on 2006-12-06 09:15:47 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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| zach i like this poem. and i like th reference to the candle nearing the end of it's days. very good. i feel the same way about my ex. message me sometime and we can talk i think we might have a good conversation. ~Koneko-chan | Posted on 2008-02-20 00:00:00 | by PrincessOfDark | [ Reply to This ] | Hm.. I really love this. Most of the rhymes are quite fit. The seem to flow, and I like that. Not sure I liked the first mention of burnt. It seemed abrupt. | | Posted on 2008-02-14 00:00:00 | by SweetAndOhSoME | [ Reply to This ] | Wow, This is good Zach...I really think that this is a good poem although some of the word chooses could have been better. I hope that things will go better for you next time but remember that somethings you just can't change no matter how much you want them to. THings will always find a way to get better so just stick it though...I love your stuff | Toodles Katie | Posted on 2006-12-20 00:00:00 | by Lover girl | [ Reply to This ] | yay! a nonvictim relationship poem! that's my first thought. i'm not one to give advice on poems written about situations i have no clue about so i'll simply say what i can and that's not much because i'm usually on the opposite end of what this poem is talking about. the emotion is well conveyed although the word choice can be a little boring at times. you have an individual style from what i can see so keep up the good work. | i figured i'd read something of yours since you were so kind as to comment on one of mine. emily | Posted on 2006-12-10 00:00:00 | by only_a_dreamX | [ Reply to This ] | stop blaming your self for what you cannot change | | Posted on 2006-12-06 00:00:00 | by jadasan | [ Reply to This ] | |
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