[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Amoebadots

    Author: vitoko
    ASL Info:    24/M
    Elite Ratio:    4.4 - 690/442/104
    Words: 110
    Class/Type: Prose/Love
    Total Views: 918
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 653

       well read it .. and what you think please

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    Oh love, your flight broke my legs
    This insipid taste which emerge of my lips
    Is poisoning my soul, i am devastated...
    Defeated, wishing i could walk, but dont even crawl
    My ideas are so vague, I lost my identity

    I despise myself while looking to the mirror
    I vomit to myself , i am so alone.
    Every move of you corner me.
    I need your oxygen...
    I should be reborn!!!

    Look for the way out between my skin.
    Every scar is a breath, every wound is “I am sorry”.
    Framed and throw-away
    How disgusting is being mortal damned to die..

    Submitted on 2006-12-06 11:09:56     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Great premise and opening, but stumbles a little. You might be amused to think that since one ameoba just splits into two, two into four and so on, if you think about it it doesn't seem that any one would ever actually die, they just keep splitting and going. Immortal. It's just not fair, here with us being so "evolved" and all.
    | Posted on 2007-09-15 00:00:00 | by Blue Monk | [ Reply to This ]
      Very graphic indeed. Hm...I do think that is raw, and hot, and like here. However, I do not see how it fits into the 'love' category...I find that this is prose--very straight-forward and unique.

    Me likey. ^_^
    | Posted on 2006-12-14 00:00:00 | by Twisted | [ Reply to This ]
      oh my..... wow that is sick and graphic and wonderful. it's really raw , i might go back and look it over again once things cool down
    | Posted on 2006-12-06 00:00:00 | by in shadow | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    written by Daniel Barlow
    Love written by saartha
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    Brigit written by endlessgame23
    AI written by poetotoe
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    Ache written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Shi written by ShyOne
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Carry written by saartha
    written by Daniel Barlow
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    Cover written by saartha
    Every..... written by jackz
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]