My Own Prison by precious

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Submission Name: My Own Prison dots

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Author:	precious_poetry
ASL Info:	19 F TN
Elite Ratio:	3.17 - 137/145/67
Words:	85

Class/Type:	Poetry/Serious
Total Views:	857
Average Vote:	5.0000
Bytes:	609

Description:
Not exactly wonderful, actually... not good by any means. But I thought I'd share it, and see if anyone could help me out with it. I've revised it many times, and it still isn't worth reading... Let me know what you think.

My Own Prison dots

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Entombed, imprisoned,
Denied light from the sun.
Concrete floor, in the corner...
A web of fear being spun.

Shut off and refused life,
Stripped of any last hope.
There is no way out, no way in,
Depression my binding rope.

Clouded memories of love,
Immobilized by visions of the past,
Suffocating beneath these memories.
I am trapped inside this chaotic mass.

Surrounded by empty thoughts,
And none of them to console.
Held captive within my own mind,
A prisoner beyond my control.

Submitted on 2006-12-06 14:54:30 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  Again I would have to say it was if you reached down into the darker side of my self consious and pulled the words of my own hell out letting them bleed with ink onto paper. GReat job I cannot begin to express how much I enjoyed and was touched by this piece.
Heather
| Posted on 2007-01-03 00:00:00 | by trynfinity | [ Reply to This ]
  I agree, it nice peice, not perfect, but if it was then it wouldn't be worth reading. I'm glad that I can still find some poems that accurately depict emotion. Bravo.

Acid
| Posted on 2006-12-08 00:00:00 | by Acid | [ Reply to This ]
  I love this poem. There is no other way to put it. I wouldn't change anything about or try to make it better in any way. It depicts depression perfectly without being too vague or too up-front about it.
| Posted on 2006-12-06 00:00:00 | by poetic_tragedy | [ Reply to This ]

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Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3 It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
It means a lot to them, as it does to you.