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Understanding and believing in friends


Author: Lover girl
ASL Info:    17, female
Elite Ratio:    4.39 - 83 /54 /24
Words: 101
Class/Type: Poetry /Friendship
Total Views: 1017
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 609



Description:




Understanding and believing in friends



I know now, I understand
You never wanted to be my man
You were a good lier
You made me believe
"Puppy love" you said to me
Was all you thought we were
I think you were right
Though so piercing the words
I hope with my heart
I believe with my soul
Our friendship will last
Until our bodies are old
You seem happy and so content
Treat her well along with your self
Be true to your heart
Though it may bend and break
All things mend
And we will be happy
So be a good friend




Submitted on 2006-12-06 15:27:18     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  Well, I don't have a whole lot to say about this because it is quite straight forward and there's no questions about what you wanted the reader to get out of it. So I guess in that way it's pretty good. From what I have seen from you, it's not your best - but I'm not sure what you could do to make it your best..Maybe I'm just being grumpy.... Anyway, I mostly just wanted to let you know that your spelling of 'liar' should probably be changed. (*you spelled it 'lier'.) I hope you don't take it the wrong way; spelling isn't anything really when it comes to the overall rating of poetry, but sometimes it does distract the reader enough to change an opinion somewhat - so I thought you'd want to know... Good job.
| Posted on 2007-01-18 00:00:00 | by stefhy | [ Reply to This ]
  This was well written and put together. I can't really find anything wrong with it. Nicely done. It portrayed hurt and sorrow, but also love and hope. The point set very finely, and it flowed magnificently. I love it! Keep up the awesome work, and I'll keep reading.

Saint Razor
| Posted on 2006-12-06 00:00:00 | by brknprlcndol | [ Reply to This ]


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