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    dots Submission Name: Understanding and believing in friendsdots

    Author: Lover girl
    ASL Info:    17, female
    Elite Ratio:    4.39 - 83/54/24
    Words: 101
    Class/Type: Poetry/Friendship
    Total Views: 589
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 609


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsUnderstanding and believing in friendsdots

    I know now, I understand
    You never wanted to be my man
    You were a good lier
    You made me believe
    "Puppy love" you said to me
    Was all you thought we were
    I think you were right
    Though so piercing the words
    I hope with my heart
    I believe with my soul
    Our friendship will last
    Until our bodies are old
    You seem happy and so content
    Treat her well along with your self
    Be true to your heart
    Though it may bend and break
    All things mend
    And we will be happy
    So be a good friend

    Submitted on 2006-12-06 15:27:18     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Well, I don't have a whole lot to say about this because it is quite straight forward and there's no questions about what you wanted the reader to get out of it. So I guess in that way it's pretty good. From what I have seen from you, it's not your best - but I'm not sure what you could do to make it your best..Maybe I'm just being grumpy.... Anyway, I mostly just wanted to let you know that your spelling of 'liar' should probably be changed. (*you spelled it 'lier'.) I hope you don't take it the wrong way; spelling isn't anything really when it comes to the overall rating of poetry, but sometimes it does distract the reader enough to change an opinion somewhat - so I thought you'd want to know... Good job.
    | Posted on 2007-01-18 00:00:00 | by stefhy | [ Reply to This ]
      This was well written and put together. I can't really find anything wrong with it. Nicely done. It portrayed hurt and sorrow, but also love and hope. The point set very finely, and it flowed magnificently. I love it! Keep up the awesome work, and I'll keep reading.

    Saint Razor
    | Posted on 2006-12-06 00:00:00 | by brknprlcndol | [ Reply to This ]

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