Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Heroes 2.0dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Akili
    Elite Ratio:    2.36 - 915/400/60
    Words: 260
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 684
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1669



    Description:
       I desided to re-do another poem of mine. I think the first one's a little bit better though, I'd like to have what people have to say it though ^_^


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHeroes 2.0dots
    -------------------------------------------



    Heroes have come to save you and me
    From sins great and small
    Greed, bank robbers, envy, and kingpins
    All must take a fall.

    Heroes have come to save us
    With powers and feelings of right
    With skin of steel and legs of fire
    Eyes that always are watching at night
    So we can go and play our games
    They swoop down in order to fight

    Did Batman ever die
    With a last sigh on his lips?
    Blood soaked and angry
    As it had been someone’s wish

    Superman still lies alone
    Eyes searching everyone
    Who can save loneness
    One day, would he fall?
    Would it be at night
    In some dark alleyway
    Would the papers care to ask
    What was the hooker’s name?

    Heroes have come here for us
    Help to learn what’s best
    Live to help, live to save
    Never go against an American way.


    Justice is always right
    That’s what everyone says
    Watch the sky
    For another to deliver it.
    And when our her is bleeding alone
    In a crowd of millions
    Will someone every say
    “you don’t have to die for me
    I’ll handle this one.”?

    Made of steel and little bugs
    One’s life can never be the same
    Why is life never easy
    And what can one do
    When only the villains really know you?

    Heroes have come to save us all
    Help our hopes, kill our sins
    They’ve never cried
    Never made judgment or lied
    Who’s there to tell them
    It’s going to be alright?




    Submitted on 2006-12-07 10:47:40     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      ok, i've never read anything by you and this is my first.
    so, to me this is pretty unique and i like it.
    some things throughout the poem lost me and i got bored and some i was really into.
    i do like the story and messege it was saying through the whole thing, and the ending just topped it off and made it perfect.


    <bleedingtears>
    | Posted on 2006-12-10 00:00:00 | by BleedingTears | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    127770

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    untitled written by Outlaw
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    Lie back & tan written by Daniel Barlow
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    Live In Between written by teika5
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    The World written by jjd
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Whispered written by endlessgame23
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry