Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Heroes 2.0dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Akili
    Elite Ratio:    2.36 - 915/400/60
    Words: 260
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 732
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1669



    Description:
       I desided to re-do another poem of mine. I think the first one's a little bit better though, I'd like to have what people have to say it though ^_^


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHeroes 2.0dots
    -------------------------------------------



    Heroes have come to save you and me
    From sins great and small
    Greed, bank robbers, envy, and kingpins
    All must take a fall.

    Heroes have come to save us
    With powers and feelings of right
    With skin of steel and legs of fire
    Eyes that always are watching at night
    So we can go and play our games
    They swoop down in order to fight

    Did Batman ever die
    With a last sigh on his lips?
    Blood soaked and angry
    As it had been someone’s wish

    Superman still lies alone
    Eyes searching everyone
    Who can save loneness
    One day, would he fall?
    Would it be at night
    In some dark alleyway
    Would the papers care to ask
    What was the hooker’s name?

    Heroes have come here for us
    Help to learn what’s best
    Live to help, live to save
    Never go against an American way.


    Justice is always right
    That’s what everyone says
    Watch the sky
    For another to deliver it.
    And when our her is bleeding alone
    In a crowd of millions
    Will someone every say
    “you don’t have to die for me
    I’ll handle this one.”?

    Made of steel and little bugs
    One’s life can never be the same
    Why is life never easy
    And what can one do
    When only the villains really know you?

    Heroes have come to save us all
    Help our hopes, kill our sins
    They’ve never cried
    Never made judgment or lied
    Who’s there to tell them
    It’s going to be alright?




    Submitted on 2006-12-07 10:47:40     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      ok, i've never read anything by you and this is my first.
    so, to me this is pretty unique and i like it.
    some things throughout the poem lost me and i got bored and some i was really into.
    i do like the story and messege it was saying through the whole thing, and the ending just topped it off and made it perfect.


    <bleedingtears>
    | Posted on 2006-12-10 00:00:00 | by BleedingTears | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    127770

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Bond written by saartha
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    Giving written by jjd
    Break Up written by WriteSomething
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Linger written by saartha
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    This written by Chelebel
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    To Glow written by krs3332003
    Push written by JanePlane
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry