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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Poem #56dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Akili
    Elite Ratio:    2.36 - 915/400/60
    Words: 209
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 652
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1300



    Description:
       This is what comes of reading TS Eliot at night everynight for weeks. I write strange poems


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsPoem #56dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Let us go down
    Down to the beach and the room
    Where there is only a trumpet and spoon
    Let us take up out crosses and bear
    The sins of those
    Who sat highest in the world

    Beware of fire
    Fear water and air
    Let not death stop you
    Even though you should still beware
    Have the voodoo woman sing her songs
    Let the priest chant his chants
    I will hold your hand
    If ever you wish to look back

    You question
    I cannot ask
    Our fates are intertwined
    But much of it has been lost

    Sing your songs
    In the blue or blackened moon
    Maybe someday itíll break into two

    Was death really sweet
    Or was it just a book?
    Is this my cross
    Go on, go on

    We walk the beach
    Looking for mermaids
    As we step over broken glass and tables.
    I laugh at your name
    You laugh at mine
    And we are happy for once in time

    This cross has grown heavy
    Are you sure itís not yours?
    I fear to ask
    As doors may become closed

    Footprints in the mud
    Watch them dry up or be hollowed
    Did it allow a smile?

    Was it enough?




    Submitted on 2006-12-07 10:57:20     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      :-)
    | Posted on 2006-12-12 00:00:00 | by Andz | [ Reply to This ]
      Holy [censored] Aki. So much power hiding in so much nonsense, though not nonsense. Dang, girl. People, you really have to read between the lines on this one, I'm not going to say what I got out of it, because that would make it too easy for everyone else.

    You, my friend, are awesome. Bear that cross, stand up tall, knowing, in the end, what you did for life itself was more than anyone else can say they did. You still have hope for this world, not many of us have that any more.

    Nicely done, Aki.
    | Posted on 2006-12-12 00:00:00 | by Krazy | [ Reply to This ]
      I don't have a clue... mysterious... arcane... the frist stanza is simply sensational, original and highly lyric!! The overall poem was very deftly done, but, oh... soooooo abstruse! I liked it muchly! Bravo! (there may be a few typos which you might like to change.)
    | Posted on 2006-12-07 00:00:00 | by Algol46 | [ Reply to This ]


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    12. Does it feel original?



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