Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Afflictdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Twisted
    Elite Ratio:    7.47 - 159/57/75
    Words: 247
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 951
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1358



    Description:
       Uh...this was inspired by Ty with one of his new writings, I can't recall exactly what it was, but go to Ty's profile and read his wonderful works!


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAfflictdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Afflict pain upon my body as I fly in my empty and indelicate euphoria meant to keep me under your control,
    My smile and words fleeing as I gasp for breath, my screams echo as you realize my nightmares are your dreams,
    So tell me, does the sight of my blood excite you, as you continue to cut, continue to take more knowledge?

    Afflict nightmares, of blood, and watch with happy eyes, and my words, and my breath are arched upon your veins,
    The veins I so desire to bleed dry, and take back my blood, our essence mixed and mingled, so one heart cannot beat without the otherís blood,
    What about the other caged birds that sing for freedom, what if I released them, shall you punish me?

    Afflict control and pretend that Iím singing again for you,
    Do I look innocent, and remind you of your pale and simple, unsought substitution,
    Well I pity you for I have within my grasp your heart and Iím ready to crush it.

    Afflict mind control, and I turn to you, unable to proceed with my plan for freedom,
    I drop you heart and cry simplistic tears of longing and freedom, take and taste my blood once more, before your thin control slips,
    Take the last of my breath as it dances from my lips, from my body, and leave colder than the pain you afflicted.




    Submitted on 2006-12-07 17:08:08     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    127845

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    written by Daniel Barlow
    untitled written by ShyOne
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    True Death written by layDsayD
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    the living moment written by ShyOne
    Push written by JanePlane
    Alone in the Crowd written by SavedDragon
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    Fasade written by jackz
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    Summer written by layDsayD
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Every..... written by jackz
    The Azores written by poetotoe
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    AI written by poetotoe
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry