[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Afflictdots

    Author: Twisted
    Elite Ratio:    7.47 - 159/57/75
    Words: 247
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 926
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1358

       Uh...this was inspired by Ty with one of his new writings, I can't recall exactly what it was, but go to Ty's profile and read his wonderful works!

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    Afflict pain upon my body as I fly in my empty and indelicate euphoria meant to keep me under your control,
    My smile and words fleeing as I gasp for breath, my screams echo as you realize my nightmares are your dreams,
    So tell me, does the sight of my blood excite you, as you continue to cut, continue to take more knowledge?

    Afflict nightmares, of blood, and watch with happy eyes, and my words, and my breath are arched upon your veins,
    The veins I so desire to bleed dry, and take back my blood, our essence mixed and mingled, so one heart cannot beat without the otherís blood,
    What about the other caged birds that sing for freedom, what if I released them, shall you punish me?

    Afflict control and pretend that Iím singing again for you,
    Do I look innocent, and remind you of your pale and simple, unsought substitution,
    Well I pity you for I have within my grasp your heart and Iím ready to crush it.

    Afflict mind control, and I turn to you, unable to proceed with my plan for freedom,
    I drop you heart and cry simplistic tears of longing and freedom, take and taste my blood once more, before your thin control slips,
    Take the last of my breath as it dances from my lips, from my body, and leave colder than the pain you afflicted.

    Submitted on 2006-12-07 17:08:08     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    Records I written by Raphael
    Carry written by saartha
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Life is moments written by Ramneet
    Redemption written by poetotoe
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Shi written by ShyOne
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Lilitu written by endlessgame23
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    Dream written by closetpoet
    The World written by jjd
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    Cover written by saartha
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    Love written by saartha




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]