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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Have a Nice Daydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: rws
    ASL Info:    57/m/ohio
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 2777/1297/258
    Words: 218
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 752
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1695



    Description:
       Occasionally it becomes necessary to protect what we believe with the same ferocity as those who attack it.

    Since what I believe has been savaged even on this site, I have only these happy words of encouragement to offer those who make a habit of deifying their ignorance; either respect those who worship God as they respect you, or greet the sunrise with "Good morning, Nazi Germany."


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHave a Nice Daydots
    -------------------------------------------


    so you hate my kind
    and wish my tribe were dead?

    wonderful
    how comforting

    what form of self immolation
    would you suggest?

    shall I slash my wrists
    with rusty pruning shears?

    or leap from the shrouded peak
    of this bright tower?

    perhaps I should hug the toaster
    as I shower

    would you like to share
    death's glorious grip as well?

    just a thought
    why do you tremble so?

    it must be lonely in your
    corner of hell

    shall I apologize for my
    peculiar form of prayer?

    will that mute the searing abuse
    that aroused your passion?

    or are we the hopeless
    breed deserving scorn

    that somehow provoked
    the animal you've become?

    would you prefer my children
    spayed and neutered to protect

    the specious rage
    you've sired and claimed as truth?

    ...takeitorleaveitorignoreit
    orplacateitoracceptitordealwithit
    orloveitorshoveitor...

    this is who I am

    and I'll leave these snippets
    posted round your mirror

    for all good neo-sapiens
    to peruse

    sweetness used to be
    my finer virtue

    until you crossed the line
    and cursed my wife

    now you've become
    the litmus test of mercy

    pray God whispers 'peace'
    before I take your life













    Submitted on 2006-12-07 19:42:17     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      I thought this to be a bit hypocritical-through this, you seem just as intolerant as the accused. I understand that this was a rant, but it seemed entirely one-sided, and failed to convince me to be the accused, accepting who you are. If I were the person, or persons, that this was aimed at, I would simply become incensed, and 'retaliate.' If you were to go about convincing people to accept you , and to stop intolerance, give reasons, give pictures of your views as benign, as something that doesn't threaten the other person.

    That is on a somewhat philosophical point of view.

    Structurally, this poem was powerful. Each word held meaning--there were no ironious rhymes or descriptions, and each was in a two line 'snippet' that you mentioned later in the poem. It was very strong in its message (though for my views on that, see above) and it made me think (hence the views listed above,) One part that was somewhat odd what the part where you mushed all the words together--it was difficult to read, and it acted as a roadblock as I read the poem. It decreased the value of the poem as a whole. I would try italics, or something to the effect, and space the words out. The other part was where it rhymed--very out of sync with the rest of the poem, and I am sure that it was unintentional, but you may want to look at it. It was sort of weird:

    - or leap from the shrouded peak
    of this bright tower?

    perhaps I should hug the toaster
    as I shower-

    Otherwise, I found this interesting, and provocative. I an not suprised that you got so many comments--touchy subject! Bravo!

    Maevity
    | Posted on 2007-01-07 00:00:00 | by Maevity | [ Reply to This ]
      Mmm... nothing better than a blistering bull's eye with a parthian style missile. I do hope whoever angered you so has read this and crawled in their hole to die so that nothing can happen to them afterward. ...or maybe they'll be surprised when they wake in hell.

    Anywho, this was perfect. I don't know what was said to provoke this swealtering inferno of undoubtedly justifiable rage, but I definitely don't suspect that it was as powerful and well thought out as this piece. The vivid imagery coupled with the scathing sarcasm and wit can cause even the most jaded reader's blood to boil at the thought of any and all the bigoted ignorance that seems to be rampant in these critical times. Needless to say, I enjoyed it. I've always admired your work... and have certainly found no exception with this piece.

    -Lance
    | Posted on 2006-12-12 00:00:00 | by giventofly | [ Reply to This ]
      "It's only eternal for this moment." That's what I thought/wrote/spoke earlier.

    I'll be back. Too tired to concentrate.


    | Posted on 2006-12-10 00:00:00 | by alteredlife | [ Reply to This ]
      a very powerful rant to those who wish to bring you down. i can't say much more than that. i'd like to fave this one, my friend. i wouldn't change a thing here. i bet it felt good to release this anger and frustration at those who spread their ignorance and misunderstanding without thought of others.

    take it easy, Bill.

    love,
    ~Cat
    | Posted on 2006-12-09 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
      I must dissent. Almost 2/3 of your poem is devoted to asking Mr. X (whomever is you tormenter) "Do you want me to do A or B or...etc." Unfortunately, he would probably answer "yes!" There are some people who should never be given even a drunken idea that such a course will ever be offered to them. Your last 4 couplets I consider tolerable challenges - barely tolerable. If instead they had offered to meet him somewhere if he has the balls to do so, that would have been perfect. Sometimes, things in this world just need to be cleaned up a bit.
    As for the poetry, it's OK - better than I would ever attempt with the anger you probably felt. As poetry, those last 4 couplets are well written.
    fred
    PS: Just so you don't get the wrong impression, I'm not a pacifist.
    | Posted on 2006-12-08 00:00:00 | by fredmelden | [ Reply to This ]
      things that are most meaningful to us ought to be defended to the death. as a born-again Christian i get a lot of abuse from many diverse sources. it seems like in the name of tolerance Christianity is quite intolerable. as a believer i am commissioned by Christ to preach the Gospel, which i do, however, i never cast my pears before swain. if a person does not want to hear the truth i walk away. i can befriend them on another level. it seems like out of every religion Christians are seen as dividers b/c we claim that Jesus Christ is the only way to glory...great hatred is slung against the Bible. many powerful men (Voltaire) prophesied the death of the Bible, however, it has outlived its pall bearers. i am reminded of Muggeridge's words

    "We look back upon history, and what do we see? Empires rising and falling. Revolutions and Counterrevolutions. Wealth accumulated and wealth disbursed. Shakespeare has written of the rise and fall of great ones, that ebb and flow with the moon. I look back upon my own fellow countrymen, once upon a time dominating a quarter of the world, most of them convinced, in the words of what is still a popular song, that the God who made them mighty, shall make them mightier yet.

    "I've heard a crazed, cracked Austrian announce to the world the establishment of a Reich that would last a thousand years. I have seen an Italian clown say he was going to stop and restart the calendar with his own ascension to power. I've heard a murderous Georgian brigand in the Kremlin, acclaimed by the intellectual elite of the world as wiser than Solomon, more humane than Marcus Aurelius, more enlightened than Ashoka.

    "I have seen America, wealthier and in terms of military weaponry, more powerful than the rest of the world put together, so that had the American people so desired, they could have outdone a Caesar, or an Alexander in the range and scale of their conquests.

    "All in one lifetime, all in one lifetime, all gone. Gone with the wind. England part of a tiny island off the coast of Europe, threatened with dismemberment and even bankruptcy. Hitler and Mussolini dead, remembered only in infamy. Stalin a forbidden name in the regime he helped found and dominate for some three decades. America haunted by fears of running our of those precious fluids that keeps their motorways roaring, and the smog settling, with troubled memories of a disastrous campaign in Vietnam, and the victories of the Don Quixotes of the media as they charged the windmills of Watergate. All in one lifetime, all in one lifetime, all gone. Gone with the wind.

    "Behind the debris of these solemn supermen, and self-styled imperial diplomatists, there stands the gigantic figure of one, because of whom, by whom, in whom and through whom alone, mankind may still have peace: The person of Jesus Christ. I present him as the way, the truth, and the life."

    anyway, this write is quite different than your others, at least to me it is. sorry to babel, but i am passionate about my freedom to worship Jesus Christ.
    my only question is can man live without God?

    be blessed
    john-paul
    | Posted on 2006-12-07 00:00:00 | by rev.jpfadeproof | [ Reply to This ]
      I think the biggest secret witheld to us by the earthly powers that be is this: no, no you must never fight back or be angry

    so in a way, the repression of anger has made it apparent bigger than it should be, because the opposition and ignorance keep compounding and confounding

    and no one told us not to fight for things real and what we believe in, certainly in the instance where we're attacked, it's essential

    but this line came to me tonight and I have to share..

    and Prince Charming let the beauty sleep because he knew it was not him who might awaken her

    Nan
    | Posted on 2006-12-07 00:00:00 | by nansofast | [ Reply to This ]
      And ferocious this is indeed. A searing retort, made powerful by virtue of reason, clarity and conviction. Too often today ignorance and intolerance are dished out like spam or generic samples of tastelessness at a supermarket. Bandwagons abound even in the smallest of hamlets, and the Pied Piper marches to tunes synthesized by self-serving hypocrits.

    This is more than just your average vent, it is intelligent, composed and absolute, qualities that will confound the ignorant.

    Take it easy now,
    Sally
    | Posted on 2006-12-07 00:00:00 | by Silverdog | [ Reply to This ]


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