Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Game of Yearsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Crutch
    ASL Info:    65/M/Ar.
    Elite Ratio:    7.58 - 44/27/12
    Words: 117
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 636
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 666



    Description:
       Is reason alone enough, are all things black or white? Can not shades of gray be true? If the muse is employed without reason is the product anything more than imitation and self gratification? Are not all pieces placed on the board for the purpose of the game, some to a wise use and some to a use of deception. -crutch
    some minor changes on 12-13-06


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsGame of Yearsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Reason requires going beyond, as a diviner goes behind the eye
    To seek vision from the soul and to pray the image doesn’t lie.
    True or false, black or white, can shades of gray ever be right.

    Not so with the Bard of Mimicry, who cast out logic and reason,
    Swears soul allegiance to the creative muse, and commits treason
    With the mage who breaches usage and salivates over his own message.

    Just so, within this game of years, while intentional to the play,
    Upon a board of stone and sky, all pieces are set in grand array.
    Light and dark, rank and file, some by wit and some by wile.




    Submitted on 2006-12-09 20:13:20     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      o.k. i really liked this piece a lot. the message is quite powerful in the sense, if white or black are right why not gray. truth if properly defined is absolute, objective. therefore, if white is right black must be wrong; according to the laws of non-contradiction.


    Not so with the Bard of Mimicry, who cast out logic and reason,
    Swears soul allegiance to the creative muse, and commits treason
    With the mage who breaches usage and salivates over his own message.

    at his point you throw caution to the wind and reveal that the old Celtic poets believed in neither, just their glorious poetry. in a sense your saying that they created their own reality, which is always a danger. it definitely echoes Fyodor Dostoevsky's prophecy that
    "first art would imitate life, than life would imitate art, than life would finds it very existence within the arts". i think that you back this notion up very well here. great write!

    God bless you
    john-paul
    | Posted on 2006-12-12 00:00:00 | by rev.jpfadeproof | [ Reply to This ]
      Like the message, there were a few lines that read out a little awkwardly..which happens to me when some of my lines get choked by words that are all powerful by reason of descriptiveness, size, precison of meaning etc...
    When faced by a line that does not sound in sinc with the rythm created by the preceding lines, sometimes punctuation can help, often breaking the offending line in half and fleshing out which ever of the resultant two lines reveals a clumsiness of pattern.


    This poem made me think, your examples were fresh and the whole piece gave me an opportunity to follow your thinking,...which is a great window from which to learn about how another p[erson thinks and believes.

    Thanks. Koster
    | Posted on 2006-12-11 00:00:00 | by koster | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    128128

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry