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    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Autumndots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Lil gal
    ASL Info:    32/F-ya/here
    Elite Ratio:    3.19 - 355/216/36
    Words: 161
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 705
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 592



    Description:
       found this in one of my notebooks. i don't know, don't think i like it.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAutumndots
    -------------------------------------------


    Crisp cool air,
    infiltrating
    deep
    into
    the
    lungs.

    Exquisite coloration,
    bursting
    from
    the
    trees.

    A testament to majestic beauty.

    Rustling leaves,
    hues
    now
    barren
    of
    luminosity.

    Swirling,
    dancing
    in
    the
    gentle
    wind.

    Happy,
    even
    in
    death.




    Submitted on 2006-12-09 20:50:13     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Why don't you like it? I think it's beautiful. I like the last part - Happy, even in death. Coming from a country with tropical climate, I've not experienced autumn before. But what you write is just how I imagine it is. :)
    | Posted on 2007-04-26 00:00:00 | by Maverique | [ Reply to This ]
      i like how you actually feel like you are falling with a leaf as you read this poem. well done. keep up the good work

    J. Ackson Jr.
    | Posted on 2007-01-17 00:00:00 | by JAcksonJr | [ Reply to This ]
      A well and ably done piece of poetry, indeed ... i liked it muchly ! bravo ... bravo ...
    | Posted on 2007-01-02 00:00:00 | by Algol46 | [ Reply to This ]
      I really think this peice suits you. It's graceful, elligant and is truly a tribute to the changing of the seasons.

    Such vivid dreams of the up coming winter promise to me.

    The smells of the fire place.
    the scent of freshly harvested pines.
    The feel of a warm cozy fire
    or the touch of a fuzzy flece sweater.

    Coffee, coco, egg nog and hot apple cider fill my cup to the brim.

    Your poem makes me think of how much I long to be on the slopes skiing.

    Keep up the good work ^_^
    | Posted on 2006-12-31 00:00:00 | by Unicrom | [ Reply to This ]
      sometimes i like to find a persons favorite poem, and try to imagine what kind of poerson they are...but oddly enough, .....b any how, i really think you interpreted an autumn day quite well in your peom....kudos

    -crume
    | Posted on 2006-12-21 00:00:00 | by Emurc6 | [ Reply to This ]
      Another WOW! This piece was so great, you described autum O' so well! You kept the readers attention with the great flow!

    Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful

    -AnnMarie
    | Posted on 2006-12-16 00:00:00 | by aNNmARIE | [ Reply to This ]
      Crisp cool air,
    infiltrating
    deep
    into
    the
    lungs.

    Exquisite coloration,
    bursting
    from
    the
    trees.

    A testament to majestic beauty.

    Rustling leaves,
    hues
    now
    barren
    of
    luminosity.

    Swirling,
    dancing
    in
    the
    gentle
    wind.

    Happy,
    even
    in
    death.

    wow!!! this is really a lovely piece of art you have here. its simple yet its dynamic. this is written exquisitely, my friend. great job. it really brings the beauty of autumn to the soul of the reader. given its brevity it is nothing short of remarkable. wonderful! superb!
    you have some fine images here as well. my favorite line is the last, " happy even in death". thats really deep, girl. i commend you on this stupendous write. i am going to add this to my favorites list.

    God bless you.
    john-paul

    p.s. read and comment on my latest piece '"She Dances Among Butterflies". when you get the time. i think that you will really like it.
    | Posted on 2006-12-13 00:00:00 | by rev.jpfadeproof | [ Reply to This ]
      Like whoa that was so kool I wish u should of written more but over all thats good, ty
    | Posted on 2006-12-09 00:00:00 | by ty | [ Reply to This ]
      not to shabby ;) couple grammar errors, but has a great flow to it. AS for imagery, great, cause I just stepped back into the fall season reading this...and fall is my fave.
    Nice job hun!! :)
    | Posted on 2006-12-09 00:00:00 | by DesecratedDream | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
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