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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Fallendots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: FallenAngelJC
    Elite Ratio:    3.4 - 47/53/41
    Words: 127
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 271
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 720



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFallendots
    -------------------------------------------


    When the world burns into ash and ember, taking the burnt sand of its time and memories, can you see it?

    I pour the charred sand onto the sky, each becoming a diamond tear of the night…

    Is it not beautiful? How they light the dark glow of night…

    Each shining with a melody, can you hear it?

    Incomplete is it not? But with the final touch of one tear, my tear…Complete, like the mist of time, forms a lullaby

    A lullaby of Moon and Light…Look how its grace baths your skin, can you feel it?

    Wait……….its already there…

    I see it, I hear it, I feel it……

    It’s the sparkle that I see in your eyes……




    Submitted on 2006-12-11 09:37:51     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I love the metaphor usage.
    And i love how this is very vivid in picture.
    i can just picture someone picking up burnt sand and throwing it into the sky.
    good work
    i love this
    | Posted on 2007-04-04 00:00:00 | by Rainin_Raspbery | [ Reply to This ]
      Impressive. Its a nice love poem very sensual, and I like a lullaby of Moon and light, look how its grace baths your skin, can you feel it? These lines are very original in your own words. I like that you have a way of words. And you have talent that you need to step on. There was a bit of pain written inside of this poem in the beginning. Apprechiate the write
    | Posted on 2007-03-26 00:00:00 | by Crestfallenman | [ Reply to This ]
      wow... u cease to impress me...
    now who is this one about?
    i love the words you used
    i love the way you've describe it.
    keep it up!!!

    xxx
    deathbroken
    | Posted on 2006-12-12 00:00:00 | by deathbroken | [ Reply to This ]
      Ah I can hear music with that!
    And smell roses.
    And each outer galaxy.
    That could make a person dance softly.
    Great work.
    | Posted on 2006-12-11 00:00:00 | by Andz | [ Reply to This ]
      i love this...i love the way its worded and shortend to get to the point. a real thinker poem with amazing imagary. and on a different subject i also love the name (FallenAngel) and the name of this piece (Fallen) because well i have great respect for those who have fallen and help through words and through physical actions.. (a lil tid bit to add i actually have the word "Fallen" tattooed on my back between my shoulder blades) so you can imagine why this caught my attention.. i love this a great read..

    -Romeo
    | Posted on 2006-12-11 00:00:00 | by Romeo | [ Reply to This ]
      this is very nice.
    i loooved the image painted in my head.
    i was sooo annoyed with all the dots.
    the limit is suppose to be three and it really bugged me.
    looved these lines alot


    When the world burns into ash and ember, taking the burnt sand of its time and memories, can you see it?


    A lullaby of Moon and Light…Look how its grace baths your skin, can you feel it?

    whenever i read the question part, it made me "feel" and "see" everything it was saying.
    good work.

    <bleedingtears>
    | Posted on 2006-12-11 00:00:00 | by BleedingTears | [ Reply to This ]



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