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    dots Submission Name: X-mas Abbreviateddots

    Author: graeme
    ASL Info:    33/M/Maple Ridge B.C. Can
    Elite Ratio:    3.42 - 26/43/19
    Words: 122
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 849
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 829


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsX-mas Abbreviateddots

    I feel sick to my stomach
    She loved this time of year
    Nothing about it makes me smile anymore
    I feel sick

    The mall makes me really want to vomit
    People everywhere spending, spending...
    Pushing each other along the way
    I might vomit

    The flyers make me want to scream
    I shouldn't need to buy buy buy for love
    Forcing me to think these thoughts
    I'm screaming

    Television makes me want to cry
    All the Christmas specials begging for ratings
    Problems can't be fixed in 30 minutes
    I just might cry

    She loved shopping, buying and watching
    It all makes me sick now
    I find myself sick, vomiting, screaming, crying
    For her and for myself

    Submitted on 2006-12-11 16:41:13     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      At first I resented the repetition of "feeling sick"--but then in the second strophe, with the repetition of the "vomit" lines, I was kinda hooked, and by the end realized it was a effective and compelling device.

    My overall impressio n is one of Loss --and an overwhelming sadness that stems from that loss. Nothing you see, hear, touch--experience -- escapes the thralls of memory,--and thus we experience second-hand your deep and devastating grief.

    This is a heavy read, but well executed

    Peace and Love
    | Posted on 2006-12-13 00:00:00 | by Silverdog | [ Reply to This ]

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