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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: please dont raed thisdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: milo stills
    Elite Ratio:    3.37 - 345/476/138
    Words: 220
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 745
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1089



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsplease dont raed thisdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I am Derrick Salas and you donít want to know me. I canít imagine I was born like a man, more spat hatefully from the molten earth. I can remember barely formed hands fixing my eyes and mouth into a more proper position. My first breath was burning smoke.

    Now I wipe my hands with flesh, using the stage and my own tattered speech to hide my secret life. I am iron at that which can not be said in school. Exhaling smoke and breathing in fire. Shooting straight gasoline into the veins behind my eyes to fuel my brain. My world is over populated with heat. I get my fingers wet, learning what I can when I am still fresh.

    Soon the earth will take me back and I will have no one. Soon I will shrug every one aside and give way to raw entropy. Think of derrick salas as a metaphor. What you see is the vague out line of the man to come.

    The one that will burn building with mind, striking out hatefully onto a much bigger canvas. I can remember hands barely formed carving my face from rock, and I know god is as small as me.




    Submitted on 2006-12-12 16:00:32     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      D this is taking me on a trip i dont need a druge you inviting me in to you head witch has many curves and awsome twist!
    | Posted on 2007-02-24 00:00:00 | by Spit | [ Reply to This ]
      Well you pretty much know that with a title such as that, one should be intrigued. Your description and source of being is quite the imagination. Normally arrogance isn't a nicely viewed quality but it seemed to fit in this piece very well. Speaking about your strange habits and behavior makes it more the interesting. It reminds me of some sort of action/horror film about a man who is rly the spawn of a demon and cast out from the underworld to collect souls. You know, something bad @ss like that.

    but have to ask, was read rly meant to be spelled wrong in the title?

    Jan
    | Posted on 2006-12-16 00:00:00 | by Jan | [ Reply to This ]
      so what's up with you derrick? this does not sound happy but I am not about to try to analyze it that's for sure. don't have a degree in psychology anyway. just english. which only qualifies me to correct your spelling! but I don't think there's anything to correct here so I'll leave it at that. I hope you're doing well though.
    | Posted on 2006-12-13 00:00:00 | by sierramuse8 | [ Reply to This ]
      Derrick
    This is really quite interesting
    You took the reader on a trip into your mind ala Rod Serling from the Twilight Zone and left them waiting for a continuation to this write
    The title is very clever as it left the reader wondering just what you have to say and in a way hypnotizing them to read your write
    Very Clever indeed
    I look forward to reading new writes from you
    God Bless
    Ron

    Please if you get a chance Please take a look at some of my writes and let me know what you think
    Thank You
    Ron
    | Posted on 2006-12-12 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]


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