Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Romcom nightdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Localfreak
    ASL Info:    37, Maybe, Here
    Elite Ratio:    5.37 - 131/123/76
    Words: 180
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1004
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1137



    Description:
       I noticed just how much my life resembles the romantic comedy series I've been watching so much of tonight.
    This isn't about me, just the idea of what could be.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsRomcom nightdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Running through a memory
    Upon a sodden bed
    Tears still burn, as I recall
    Our ridicule, our fate
    I loved her while she loved him and Gordon loved us both
    And millions would sit and stare and giggle at the show

    Thoughts, a running commentary
    Parading through soft eyes
    Eclipsed by the familiarity
    Of a thousand goodbyes
    Words were said and laughs were many, pratfalls spilled like wine
    And my girl would bed a thousand guys, but never would be mine

    So sad, those times were plenty
    Though we always, smiled through
    We danced our way, through yesterdays
    And with each step we grew
    We met, we left, we almost died, but in the end returned
    We lived through crashes; forest fires and none of us got burned

    But summing up tonight I see
    The ending of the series
    We all a will go our separate ways
    To reunite at Christmas
    You were my family, sisters, lovers, together ‘til the end
    Or as it seems, ‘til our ratings dropped, I miss you so much, my friends.




    Submitted on 2006-12-13 20:04:38     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      this is a good write.

    "And my girl would bed a thousand guys,
    but would never be mine"

    I would go- but never would be mine.
    It puts the emphasis on never and flows a lil better.

    Other than that no quams. I liked this peice, your descriptions are very vivacious and really make the reader experience this peice. Cheers.
    | Posted on 2006-12-13 00:00:00 | by leftof_red | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    128659

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    untitled written by Outlaw
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    The World written by jjd
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Whispered written by endlessgame23
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Live In Between written by teika5
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    Rooted in Nature written by Chelebel
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry