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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: From the women you'll never knowdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Thornful Rose
    ASL Info:    23-female-California
    Elite Ratio:    3.74 - 141/186/49
    Words: 343
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 850
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2228



    Description:
       I miss my mama.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFrom the women you'll never knowdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I have aged since you last knew me.
    Almost six long years ago.
    Before I became this woman,
    the one you will never know.

    I have moved around,
    bouncing from here to there.
    Always silently searching,
    for a sign of you somewhere.

    Sometimes I actually find one.
    But only as a flat reflection in a mirror.
    Imitating only cold shallow glimpses,
    this is the way I find you here.

    A reflection of your beauty.
    A twin to your pain.
    A duplicate of your depression,
    and a source for the shame.

    I have aged since you last knew me.
    Almost six long years ago.
    Before I became this woman,
    the one you will never know.

    I wish you could see me,
    being here to hold my hand.
    Leading me on my way,
    and full-filling all our plans.

    You aren't here to help me,
    or council me when I cry.
    You wont watch me walk down an isle,
    or bring my own children into the world.

    You'll never know this woman,
    the one which I have become.
    The one you helped inspire,
    when my heart was still happy and young.

    I have aged since you last knew me.
    Almost six long years ago.
    Before I became this woman,
    the one you will never know.

    But for now I feel so lost.
    Simply unleashed upon the world.
    misguided in my choices.
    A lonely death struck little girl.

    I'm longing for your opinion.
    Needing your suggestions.
    Alone in my decisions,
    and stuck without progression.

    I miss my hippie mama,
    and the way you touched my life.
    But I know it's you inside me,
    fueling my will to fight.

    I have aged since you last knew me.
    Almost six long years ago.
    Before I became this woman,
    the one you will never know.

    But still, maybe in the end,
    you'll be able to find me.
    Recognizing the girl you once knew.
    and living right beside me,
    the way you were always meant to.




    Submitted on 2006-12-15 04:39:13     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Hi.. this poem reminds me so much of someone I knew... Sarah, her name was Sarah ... and well I don't know quite how to say this, but there is so much of her in this poem... its kinda freaky in a way.... but then again... seeming as you seem to be. very smart, perhaps with cleverness and foresight the effect was intentional... as everybody has somebody someone they never knew... enough.....

    damn good writing though... !!!
    | Posted on 2009-01-28 00:00:00 | by col13x | [ Reply to This ]
      This is great. Nothing in here could be fixed or changed at all, because it's all from you heart. And I have to tell you, I was crying all the way through it. As you know, I can relate.
    I'd have to say the stanza that touched me the most was stanza 7. I had to stop right there and cry my eyes out for a while before moving on. Your poem is certainly making it's way onto my favorites list. It's beautiful, and very well written.

    ~Piper
    | Posted on 2006-12-16 00:00:00 | by PiperH | [ Reply to This ]
      this is an excellent tribute to your mom, heartfelt and deep. 'A lonely death struck little girl' was the line that really hit - lots in there. The only thing I think this needs is a bit of polishing. Try to keep it on target with the rhythm and rhyme (you also might experiement with unrhymed verse here - this is a good subject for it). awesone work.
    | Posted on 2006-12-15 00:00:00 | by joeyalphabet | [ Reply to This ]


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    128810

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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