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    dots Submission Name: Intactdots

    Author: SinCeer05
    ASL Info:    21mVA
    Elite Ratio:    3.27 - 243/279/168
    Words: 136
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 1080
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 961


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    A life lived in the shadows is cold and barren
    strangers with their backs turned, no soul is carin…

    in a prism of disgustful, disruptive, disillusioned hate
    I live in accordance, according to accustomed breaks

    Driven to pits of hell, the tires have blown
    I stride to walk across the fire and stones

    Lifted to the shallow, shackles of shammed traits
    listening to ominous, omissions and omens of fate

    Forced to indulge an bask the fruits of labor
    buried innocence while the roots are layered

    In a prison of destitude, devilish, demented wakes
    I swim through adventitious, adversaries, adamant to shake

    against the grains of loathing with quarrels and quicksand
    Breaking the last straw, controlling with morals to withstand

    Submitted on 2006-12-15 15:33:15     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Absolutely fantastic. The title states the whole of it. I find each staza holds its own truth... I also like the thing you did with the three words starting with the same letter descibing a trait. There are a couple of things like that, that i didn't catch my first time through. I am sure there are more devices hidden that i did not find! I found the line "Driven to pits of hell, the tires have blown" to be a unique piece of imagery. On a whole, I liked it immensley because it is on a higher level...Not just handed down on a plain serving dish.. There is only one complaint I have agianst it.. "carin" I know it was used to ryhme it and it does Fit the sentence..But still..it bugs me.
    | Posted on 2006-12-17 00:00:00 | by isis_lenore | [ Reply to This ]

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    January 10 07
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