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Author: SinCeer05
ASL Info:    21mVA
Elite Ratio:    3.27 - 243 /279 /168
Words: 136
Class/Type: Poetry /Serious
Total Views: 1116
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 963



A life lived in the shadows is cold and barren
strangers with their backs turned, no soul is carin…

in a prism of disgustful, disruptive, disillusioned hate
I live in accordance, according to accustomed breaks

Driven to pits of hell, the tires have blown
I stride to walk across the fire and stones

Lifted to the shallow, shackles of shammed traits
listening to ominous, omissions and omens of fate

Forced to indulge an bask the fruits of labor
buried innocence while the roots are layered

In a prison of destitude, devilish, demented wakes
I swim through adventitious, adversaries, adamant to shake

against the grains of loathing with quarrels and quicksand
Breaking the last straw, controlling with morals to withstand

Submitted on 2006-12-15 15:33:15     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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5: Wow!


  Absolutely fantastic. The title states the whole of it. I find each staza holds its own truth... I also like the thing you did with the three words starting with the same letter descibing a trait. There are a couple of things like that, that i didn't catch my first time through. I am sure there are more devices hidden that i did not find! I found the line "Driven to pits of hell, the tires have blown" to be a unique piece of imagery. On a whole, I liked it immensley because it is on a higher level...Not just handed down on a plain serving dish.. There is only one complaint I have agianst it.. "carin" I know it was used to ryhme it and it does Fit the sentence..But bugs me.
| Posted on 2006-12-17 00:00:00 | by isis_lenore | [ Reply to This ]

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