Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Minedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Liv2LoveThePain
    ASL Info:    19 - F - Philly
    Elite Ratio:    4.23 - 1527/1515/256
    Words: 64
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1017
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 523



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMinedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Old violence in a modern time
    still follows blank instruction signs
    to spin until there's no reverse
    where bodies live for just the hearse.

    And when the end's defined,
    he'll scream to God, "She's mine."
    (I hope God doesn't listen.)


    Severed flesh, thin and distorted.
    Witnessing a love contorted.
    Like twenty needles in your spine,
    the sacrifice is close behind.




    Submitted on 2006-12-16 13:14:39     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I agree with whendt, except that someone is Satan... so what stops you? There are ways to KNOW if you are going to heaven or hell. Read Romans chapter 10 verses 9 and 10.

    I liked this one, it made me think of a lonely candle flickering the back corner of a dark room desperately fighting against the darkness, hoping to last until the sunrise.
    | Posted on 2006-12-20 00:00:00 | by UnspokenDreamer | [ Reply to This ]
      Great work Nikki! loved this and it made me feel that you want to get away from someone? Well good luck on that. Great poem!
    Kelley
    | Posted on 2006-12-17 00:00:00 | by whendt | [ Reply to This ]
      I think you should add another line to the second stanza so it fits in easier you know. Bloody good write though.

    Always yours,
    Jay.
    | Posted on 2006-12-16 00:00:00 | by Flowerinbloom | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    128995

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    Live In Between written by teika5
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry