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    dots Submission Name: Minedots

    Author: Liv2LoveThePain
    ASL Info:    19 - F - Philly
    Elite Ratio:    4.23 - 1527/1515/256
    Words: 64
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1094
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 523


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    Old violence in a modern time
    still follows blank instruction signs
    to spin until there's no reverse
    where bodies live for just the hearse.

    And when the end's defined,
    he'll scream to God, "She's mine."
    (I hope God doesn't listen.)

    Severed flesh, thin and distorted.
    Witnessing a love contorted.
    Like twenty needles in your spine,
    the sacrifice is close behind.

    Submitted on 2006-12-16 13:14:39     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I agree with whendt, except that someone is Satan... so what stops you? There are ways to KNOW if you are going to heaven or hell. Read Romans chapter 10 verses 9 and 10.

    I liked this one, it made me think of a lonely candle flickering the back corner of a dark room desperately fighting against the darkness, hoping to last until the sunrise.
    | Posted on 2006-12-20 00:00:00 | by UnspokenDreamer | [ Reply to This ]
      Great work Nikki! loved this and it made me feel that you want to get away from someone? Well good luck on that. Great poem!
    | Posted on 2006-12-17 00:00:00 | by whendt | [ Reply to This ]
      I think you should add another line to the second stanza so it fits in easier you know. Bloody good write though.

    Always yours,
    | Posted on 2006-12-16 00:00:00 | by Flowerinbloom | [ Reply to This ]

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