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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Santa In The Shrubberydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Liv2LoveThePain
    ASL Info:    19 - F - Philly
    Elite Ratio:    4.23 - 1527/1515/256
    Words: 123
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1226
    Average Vote:    4.5000
    Bytes: 877



    Description:
       He sees you when you're sleeping???


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSanta In The Shrubberydots
    -------------------------------------------


    Drunk on fear and Christmas cheer,
    children count their gifts each year.
    Santa's peeking through the blinds.
    I don't really trust his kind.
    Breaking in and entering,
    stealing cookies, drinking things...
    What the hell is up with that?
    And you wonder why he's fat?
    Trespassing upon the roof,
    reindeers stomp impatient hoofs.
    Each night while the world's asleep,
    crazy Santa loves to sneak.
    Hiding in the shrubbery,
    basically, he's stalking me.
    'Tis the season to be glad
    Santa hasn't yet gone mad
    and shot us all in the head.
    "Fa la la la la la la la DEAD!!!"
    Knocked over the Christmas tree.
    Once again, it fell on me.
    Still, he'll find me under here.
    This is not my time of year.




    Submitted on 2006-12-16 13:19:17     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Lol this one made me laugh, I haven’t seen a poem that made me giggle for a while.

    One thing though:

    “What the hell is up with that?
    And you wonder why he's fat?”

    The bottom line seems a little short, I think it would flow better if it said:

    “What the hell is up with that?
    And you wonder why the man’s so fat?”

    But it’s just a suggestion.

    Thanks for the enjoyable read.

    Linzi x
    | Posted on 2007-02-20 00:00:00 | by Linzi | [ Reply to This ]
      ahahahaha i giggled at this one!! i like the part about santa is basically stalking you... i don't think he hangs around to watch kids open their presents, but hey, you never know... O.O
    now i'm gonna have to stay up really late at night watching for fat old men in red suits watching me and listening for the sound of hoofbeats on the rooftop. >.<
    reading your poems are gonna make me paranoid some day. ;) jk i love these
    write on! can't wait for more stuffs!
    | Posted on 2006-12-21 00:00:00 | by LoneWolf | [ Reply to This ]
      This one made me smile especially the fa la la la la, la la la DEAD!!! haha. Great write Nikki.
    | Posted on 2006-12-20 00:00:00 | by UnspokenDreamer | [ Reply to This ]
      you are heeee-larious! This was so funny. Seriously, you are a hoot. i cant even say what part is the funniest because theres too many things that made me laugh. well, ill be seein ya soon. Bye
    | Posted on 2006-12-20 00:00:00 | by LoveToHateMe | [ Reply to This ]
      Lol, Amazing write, I've never really like chrismas myself. I love the description too by the way. So funny. Excellent job. Personally I thought you had great imagery (graphic)
    :)
    | Posted on 2006-12-18 00:00:00 | by DisilusndDreamr | [ Reply to This ]
      Now this was funny! Loved the since of humor and horror in this peace.Better be real good or Santa will shoot you LOL(smile)
    Kelley Frost
    | Posted on 2006-12-17 00:00:00 | by whendt | [ Reply to This ]
      This re,minds me of when I was in sunday school and I was told that God is watching us. I had a fear of going to the restroom because I thought someone was watching me - still slightly bothers me. Now I have a need to worry about a fat old man watching me...
    | Posted on 2006-12-17 00:00:00 | by SincerWritinAsh | [ Reply to This ]
      i like this! a view of christmas i have never seen before, very interesting. now, everytime i see a santa I will think of this poem and laugh. this really brought me up on a bad mood rite now. thanx.

    -angel-
    | Posted on 2006-12-17 00:00:00 | by just an angel | [ Reply to This ]
      This is funny
    I thought you were very creative with your thoughts and ideas
    As for Santa being a pervert that is just plain not true
    Remember Santa only leaves gifts when there is noone to see him LOL
    You take care
    Very Clever Write
    God Bless
    Ron

    Please if you get a chance Please take a look at some of my newer writes and let me know what you think
    Thank You
    Ron
    HAPPY HOLIDAYS
    | Posted on 2006-12-16 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      Hahahahaha oh my god you are so messed up. This reminds me of an episode of Futurama (yeah i watch cartoons sometimes). Santa's a pervert, thats a christmas carol you dont hear every year.

    You get better with time,
    Jay.
    | Posted on 2006-12-16 00:00:00 | by Flowerinbloom | [ Reply to This ]
      I wish the poem was more graphic, the picture you paint is cutesy due to the way it rhymes. I think with more work it could be much better.
    | Posted on 2006-12-16 00:00:00 | by Silenced Hope | [ Reply to This ]


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