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This is not a love poem, my love,
| Impressive, even if not complex or extensive. There’s a lot of subtlety here, more like an old soul than a teenager. The writing is simple, but the use of language has many overtones. The first stanza is about branches tapping at a window; the second about branches (limbs) and blooms; the third about blooms also; the next about the petals of the blooms and also roots; the last about womb – which has metaphor with both window (an opening) and root (a source).|
I don’t know if you intended all this as a logical structure, or if this is onlyu the product of your unconscious. Either way, it is deep writing.
|| Posted on 2007-04-27 00:00:00 | by fredmelden | [ Reply to This ] || Wow, that was incredible. I disliked the part about the trampled womb but I get it. Still, very nice. I read the description and wondered myself where it would go. You took it away from the cheesey realm of love poetry, and beautifully described the nature relationships. Someday we all stop baring fruit, and so forth. At least that's what I got out of it. Beautiful imagery.||| Posted on 2006-12-17 00:00:00 | by dawnschild | [ Reply to This ] |