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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Creature Christmas Treedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: elseibi
    ASL Info:    20/f/uk
    Elite Ratio:    3.13 - 228/180/38
    Words: 61
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 902
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 420



    Description:
       Just a lil Christmassy poem for people to enjoy. Ty Ron for filling in the ending (i had complete mental block hehe) much love all xxxxxxx

    ~lou~
    ~lou~


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsCreature Christmas Treedots
    -------------------------------------------


    In a glade by the river,
    stands a lone christmas tree,
    silent and beautiful,
    for the animals to see,

    fresh snow is tinsel,
    the stars are its lights,
    in the cloudless night sky
    they sparkle so bright,

    The animals all dance round it
    frolicking with glee
    it's a child of the forest
    and their Christmas Tree!!





    Submitted on 2006-12-17 17:53:57     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      oh, how sweet!! i got a picture of rabbits and squirrels playing in the snow around this tree, so cute.
    i love how you can create such great images in my mind.
    to be honest, i wouldn't change a thing.

    i hope you have a wonderful christmas, sweetheart, and a happy new year!
    michelle
    | Posted on 2006-12-20 00:00:00 | by whirl | [ Reply to This ]
      Awh, this is really cute Lou! Hehe, it was nicely written and it never failed to bring a smile on my face. : ) Well, I have to agree with the person below me; so if I may suggest, maybe changing the word sparkle in the line, "they sparkle so bright," wouldn't make that part a bit awkward... I have a few synonyms: Shine, glitter, glisten, flicker, twinkle...

    But it's all up to you if you'll change it or not though..

    Nice write as always.

    Debbie
    | Posted on 2006-12-19 00:00:00 | by Czarina Words | [ Reply to This ]
      I might suggest changing "sparkle" to something else, but--

    In a glade by the river,
    stands a lone christmas tree,
    silent and beautiful,
    for the animals to see,

    fresh snow its tinsel,
    the stars are its lights,
    in the cloudless night sky
    they flare out so bright.

    As the frost's wind falls,
    with its last flake of
    bitter snow, the
    brightest star is outshone

    by a single heighened blaze,
    outflying angels, for
    the shepherds' eyes alone.
    Herod himself guards envy

    where this Lord's light falls;
    for the innocent, the only,
    impoverished, passed by,
    among family alone.

    The world sought and killed him,
    but he still remains--
    forever remembered,
    forever at home.

    I know my rhythm's off a bit, but I'm tired right now. Might have an excuse in that...? I just had to throw in a reference to this--it is, after all, the reason for the season.

    --crimson echo
    | Posted on 2006-12-19 00:00:00 | by crimson echo | [ Reply to This ]
      Here's a suggestion for the last stanza:


    The animals all dance round it
    frolicking with glee
    it's a child of the forest
    and their Christmas Tree!!

    This is really cute, Lou, and a delightful christmas tale! A Christmas tree for the lil' animals; I like that, gotta think of God's little creatures too!

    correction sug: fresh snow (is) its tinsel

    Title suggestion: Child of the Forest
    or maybe
    Creature Christmas Tree?

    looking at the "wee" poem again; that little short poem is a treasure, Lou; absolutely terrriffic!
    | Posted on 2006-12-17 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]
      Ha! I love this little poem! It is a genius of a Christmas poem! And, I'm delighted that you chose my last stanza to add to it!!

    Merry Christmas!
    | Posted on 2006-12-19 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]


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