Description: first vampiric poem. let me know how it is, thanks.
Life in Death -------------------------------------------
He opens his mouth
Sharp canines glistening in the moonlight
Pressing on her soft pink flesh
Slowly piercing her skin
Letting the blood-rain commence
He sucks gently on her neck
Feeling her life flowing into him
Her mouth is slightly agape
In wonder at the feeling
Half pain– feeling herself dieing
Half pleasure– like an orgasm that will not end
Her sight becomes blurry
The night becoming darker
He sucks harder
Not wanting her to know anymore
He almost feels human
Knowing it will stop when she is dead
Savoring the sensation for as long as possible
She gasps softly as her life in ended
He lays her down on the grass
Wipes her neck with a cloth
Fading back into the darkness
I love dark poetry. I canny believe you described (in detail) someone having their neck bitten. I have to go take a cold shower now. I shall send you the water bill.
My favourite line:
Her mouth is slightly agape
In wonder at the feeling
Half pain– feeling herself dieing
Half pleasure– like an orgasm that will not end
Dude, what the hell have you been reading???
This line rocks, so does the rest of the poem.
i love it! one or two typo's, but the general idea is loud and clear. fantastic. i prefer dark poetry, especially vampires, so this is ideal for me! great job. michelle
Submission Name: Life in Death
