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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The House of Tattoosdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Inducted_Kitty
    Elite Ratio:    4.3 - 307/422/109
    Words: 367
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 144
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2267



    Description:
       My eldest son Jeremy, who we lost on May 9/05, loved his tattoos and spent many hours helping to create and design them with the artist.
    His childhood friend, Phil, had a dream which he told me of, and I felt I had to try to capture that dream in a tribute to both him and Jer.
    Thank you for sharing this wonderful dream of Jer, Phil. It makes me smile to think of him, happy, with his beloved dog, Lanzar, and doing what he loved the most while he was still with us here...
    I hope you like it...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe House of Tattoosdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Beyond the stars and moonlit sky
    Not visible to the human eye
    Where dreams can never really die ~

    A house stands on its own...

    A weathered porch with a hinged wood door
    That creaks when you enter, and scrapes on the floor
    Just a small lonely house, and nothing more ~

    This house is all alone...

    There is no street, no town or state
    There's just this house ~ of human fate
    No yard, no fence, no locking gate ~

    This house stands on its own...

    I went there in a dream one night
    My heart sank at this dreary sight ~
    This old wood house with dim, shaded light

    This house was all alone...

    I went inside to look around
    A darkened room was all I found
    No real light, and not a sound ~

    This house stood all alone...

    Then ~ I saw him sitting there
    Perched upon an old wood chair,
    I knew in my heart that it was Jer

    This house had become his home...

    His back to me, he was was so intent
    Working on the arm that he had bent
    Creating tattoos, for which he'd been meant

    He'd made this house his home...

    I heard the gun as it hit its mark
    Then he turned to me, standing in the dark
    Recognition in his eyes, I saw the spark

    He said, "Brother, I'm finally home..."

    I asked him if he missed us still
    He smiled and said "Guess I always will...
    But this is what I was meant for, Phil...

    You are welcome in my home..."

    He bent to pet a dog that lay
    At his feet, and I thought I heard him say
    "Lanzar, you be good, and stay...

    I'm sending my friend back home..."

    I watched him as he rose to stand
    He came and shook my trembling hand
    Said, "You're not ready for this strange land...

    I love you all Brother ~ but you must go home...
    This house is mine alone..."













    Submitted on 2006-12-18 10:11:02     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Mom, I must say I couldn't keep a dry eye as I read this......I really could picture walking into Jer's house and seeing his million dollar smile doing what he was so meant to do. I believe he sends us messages all the time, I look out for them everyday. Love u Heidi
    | Posted on 2006-12-22 00:00:00 | by sunflower78 | [ Reply to This ]
      "I knew right away that it was Jer" - This line really throws off the rhythm. Try streamlining it. Also, it really remind me of "The Nigh Before Christmas"; I figure that's not what you were going for.

    That's the only thing that really stood out to me. Other than that, I really like how this is a very straightforward poem. It also packs the necessary detail to form a good picture in the reader's head.
    | Posted on 2006-12-18 00:00:00 | by HaldirLives | [ Reply to This ]



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