In Memory of Christmas -------------------------------------------
I know of a man
Wise and sincere
Who walks on graves
On the 25th of December
To remind him that
While he’s on this earth
That he should live life
To fullest
To make the most
Of what time has given him
Not throw it away
Like some fools do
His morose actions
May seem queer to all
But in his mind
He is convinced
That Christmas is not full of cheer
But a way to end
A year that some
Might just have passed through
Without appreciation
For the days they have lived
And so he walks
On the graves
To remind him that
He is still living
And that while his blood
Still flows warm
He should make the most
Of every year to come
For they wont be coming forever
Interesting! A unique approach to life, and one that perhaps is more real than any. You have told quite a story. I liked it. Might I suggest that you eliminate some of the superfluous words in this. For instance in S1 - L5 the word "that" is not needed. So:
Drop S1 - L1 "of" L5 "that" L6 "he's" L7 "that" (L8 ADD "the" ) L12 "do" L14 "to all" (L17 MAKE IT "He's') L18 "that' L21 "might just" L23 (CHANGE "for' TO "of").
S2 - L2 "the" L3 "that" (L4 MAKE IT "he's") L5 "that" L8 "to come."
I think you'll find these small changes will enhance your poem.
Again, I enjoyed the story and the way you wrote it. Will read more of your stuff.
I like it, It's true, Cristmas is really about being thankful and what better thing to be thankful for but life. The holidays get so crazy that we forget what we really should appriciate. I don't know if I'll be walking on any graves but I will definately take a moment to give thanks for what I have. Thanks for the reminder, Twice (Will)
Submission Name: In Memory of Christmas
