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    dots Submission Name: Realms of Infinite Distorsionsdots

    Author: Non-Sens-Uality
    Elite Ratio:    2.94 - 67/80/53
    Words: 112
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 722
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 680


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsRealms of Infinite Distorsionsdots

    A tear
    I fear, it left my eye,
    With all my dreams within.
    Reflections told me a sweet lie,
    Through lips of dark, words dim.

    A land
    Of sand, you used to see,
    Without an echo and no sky
    As you tried reaching out for me
    Never even knowing why.

    And now
    Somehow, I pray for you
    To catch the falling tear.
    But you - you won't be able to,
    To see, or touch, or hear...

    My song.
    So long, I feel the death, -
    With that last tear, all is now lost
    A last note, and a last dear breath
    A frozen moment fades to dust.

    Submitted on 2006-12-21 17:01:56     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Interesting: seriously I love the word
    trhought, I like what you do with word
    stress to force pace. It may of course
    be unintentional but nevertheless you are
    doing it consistently.

    Random line selection:
    As you tried reach: stress rises
    all the way to (ing) then falls
    with (ing for) to land with a slight
    rise on ( me) the sound reaches
    mirroring the meaning of the line.

    To continue in no sensical order

    A tear
    I fear, it left my eye,

    A tear falls hence the line break
    and the quick rhyme with fear
    makes the reader feel how
    anxious you are about it, then

    I fear, it left my eye,
    being nicely iambic plays on the stress.

    each stanza starts of with this anxiety.
    reinforced by the iambic line, then
    like echoes of the thought the iambic
    is skillfully distorted with counterpoints
    of rhythm each one serving
    to increase the level of

    and so melancholy sweet the last
    stanza oh how we regret this passing
    tear, a tear at this point that has
    attained symbolic weight. And of
    course those things seen through
    tear filled eyes are distorted.
    And I wonder about the title
    torsions the act of twisting and
    how we can twist the smallest things
    into so many meanings.

    Then let us not overlook the very last

    A frozen moment fades to dust
    so sere, no more wet tear no more
    distortion just the realization that
    it is over.

    God I hope I am not overanalyzing here
    I do that so often, and so often I am so
    wrong. but I have fun doing it, just like
    I enjoyed this poem it was very interesting.


    | Posted on 2007-01-06 00:00:00 | by DaleP | [ Reply to This ]
      It's exciting to think that a few words can become such a complexity and so I would not know where o begin other then I am surprised no one commented on this. Truly, it's marvelous how I cannot let emotions flow by unwanted whilst reading this. I find it exceptional and picturesque. The unique style is very gracious and the rhyme is quite a good luck charm.
    | Posted on 2007-01-04 00:00:00 | by Porcelaine | [ Reply to This ]

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