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    dots Submission Name: Rain Memorydots

    Author: atonement
    Elite Ratio:    2.71 - 106/186/98
    Words: 119
    Class/Type: Misc/Passion
    Total Views: 756
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 792


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    dotsRain Memorydots

    I remember when I was little,
    I use to sit and watch the pouring rain,
    Watching the droplets,
    And imaging the angel's cry.

    And the lighting crashes,
    Under the covers I hide.
    I myself begin to cry.

    I pull my strength together,
    and my bare feet touch the cold floor.
    My fingers run along the drywall,
    and I unlock the door.

    I step out,
    Into the rain,
    Into the storm.

    My lace nightgown,
    becomes so wet,
    and my hair darkens
    and starts to curl.

    I spin round and
    round, without
    a god given care.

    And I stare at sky,
    and the tears from heaven
    bathe me, in memories
    of father.

    Submitted on 2006-12-23 20:14:34     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      this made me tear up lol
    my eyes are watering idk why
    its so ... just.. i cant even put it into words. i dont think it could get any better...
    at the end... if thats supposed to mean your father passed away... im terribly sorry
    this was a very emotional write
    its amazing
    probably one of the best writes ive read in a looong time
    | Posted on 2007-02-16 00:00:00 | by Suicidalchild51 | [ Reply to This ]
      I thought that you wonderfully portrayed the rain storm. I really like poems were one can feel what the writer felt at that time, your poem does just that, it makes me feel what you might haev een feeling at that time. It did not seem forced, it seemed to just flow. I really liked it.
    | Posted on 2006-12-24 00:00:00 | by ImperfectGirl1 | [ Reply to This ]
      I really enjoyed this one...you illustrated the rain storm perfectly, and showed the emotion you had that night as a child. Very nice.
    | Posted on 2006-12-24 00:00:00 | by wovenwords | [ Reply to This ]
      i really like it. the ending was kind of a surprise. i felt a pretty strong emotion as i read it, i'm just not really sure what it was.
    | Posted on 2006-12-23 00:00:00 | by Roula | [ Reply to This ]
      this was amazingly beautiful.
    the imagery took over everything and it was soo amazing.
    i loved how it was so simple and basic and yet, i could feel so much and image every thing that was said.
    i love the detail of the sequence. it was really like reading a story.
    nice work.
    keep writing

    | Posted on 2006-12-24 00:00:00 | by BleedingTears | [ Reply to This ]

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