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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: On our plightdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Roberto Santos
    ASL Info:    18/Male/India
    Elite Ratio:    2.96 - 118/159/75
    Words: 127
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 725
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 785



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsOn our plightdots
    -------------------------------------------


    As we leave behind the hopes of millions in our wake
    We head towards a new life and new fate
    I don't know just why I am filled with negativity
    Is it just a reflection on the way I think?

    I don't understand just why we can't include everyone
    In our march toward greater progress
    I can't believe that after all these years
    There are still those who are afflicted by prejudice.

    Can we bring ourselves to accept that we have made
    A tremendous blunder in moving ahead too fast
    Or must we stubbornly insist that we are right
    And abandon millions to tremendous harm

    It's all upto you to decide what to think
    I am just the poet who reflects on all this.




    Submitted on 2006-12-24 02:13:04     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      My thoughts:
    This is a good poem. What's primarily good about it to me is that it's not too pushy. There's a message with a sense of urgency, but you're not really ramming it down our throats. It's also mildly melancholy. Why can't we all listen? Why are we so prejudiced? Yeah, I think the message is definitely important.
    That does, however, bring me to what I don't like about the poem. I'm not exactly sure what it is that you're writing about. Maybe it's about nothing, maybe you're writing this with the confidence that everyone can apply it to something (which, by the way, is very true). But if you're writing about a specific experience, perhaps posting it on the description would be beneficial?

    Please comment back, if it's not too much trouble - I'd love to know the meaning behind your words.
    | Posted on 2006-12-26 00:00:00 | by SouthernState | [ Reply to This ]


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    129890

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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    January 10 07
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