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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Asylum Boy, Entry 12dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Darkess
    ASL Info:    12/Female/Canada
    Elite Ratio:    3.37 - 30/93/39
    Words: 264
    Class/Type: Story/
    Total Views: 1247
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2137



    Description:
       Figured I owed you all an Entry to celebrate Christmas Eve, and the fact that my holidays officially started Friday even though I was off the week before anyway... Darn pneumonia. I'm rather fond (and proud) of this one...

    Here we go.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAsylum Boy, Entry 12dots
    -------------------------------------------


         I refuse to let this get the better of me.

         I'm a strong person. I hope.

         Chance will make it all better.

         I couldn't care less about what Seio decides to do about it.

         ...

         It's almost like a relief. I'm insane. It's numbing. I'll never get out. I'll never worry again. I'm stuck here. Left here.

         Suddenly I hate my mother. If it weren't for her I'd be somewhere else. My soul wouldn't be in this body. Papercut hands, broken mind. My soul wouldn't be here. I'd be living normally.

         Normal.

         Normal?

         ...

         Maybe someday I'll get out. I'll get better, that's it. But that brings me back to the original problem... I'm insane. I always have been... Maybe. How much of this is real? How much is an illusion created by my broken mind?

         I'll just lay here and create another dream world. Fall deep enough into my thoughts so that they'll never rescue me. If I never write to you again, oh diary of my life, I've either succeeded or they've finally decided to kill me and end my misery. After all, there's really no rights for someone who wasn't supposed to exist in the first place.

         No, I don't feel a thing. Just maybe disappointment in myself for giving up so easily. It's giving up, isn't it? If I hadn't given up I'd still be sane and... I wouldn't be an angel.

         Flip back a few pages... The asylum people are angels.

         I'm going to heaven.




    Submitted on 2006-12-24 11:15:37     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Nice ending.

    Consider: is it knowledge of insanity that makes us insane, or ignorance of insanity that makes us normal?

    --crimson echo
    | Posted on 2007-04-25 00:00:00 | by crimson echo | [ Reply to This ]
      "...Credulous at best your desire to believe in
    angels in the hearts of men..."

    ~Maynard (some more. Notice a trend?)

    So. Here we have a rather psychotic young character, desperately struggling to find himself. The setting is different, the story is the same.

    Let's see what happens.

    Cheers.
    ~Orin

    P.S. Damn the Doc for not bringing his kitten to work.

    | Posted on 2007-03-02 00:00:00 | by Orin | [ Reply to This ]
       God, poor Dove...I wish I could help him...

    *tox*
    | Posted on 2007-02-09 00:00:00 | by Toxic_Rayne | [ Reply to This ]
      wow...that was powerful and oh so heart wrenching.

    HE is going to fall away, isn't he???
    I hope not...Chance should help him escape. Run away and never look back...hmmm
    You know maybe not, I mean...he might not be able to take the real world and the way it works and all.

    It might just make him even more on the edge and turn him right back into what he wants to get away from.

    Yeah I'm hoping that all these things work out for the best...as I like a good ending...but that is not what this story is about is it...it's more of an unlay of the human mind and nature...more of the way our instincts work and they way we relate...yeah

    kk

    I'm reading the next...hope I can comment
    | Posted on 2007-02-02 00:00:00 | by clay | [ Reply to This ]
      im proud of this write too, for you. the reader was allowed to go back into doves mind, back to the angels. i love how dove suddenly blames his mother, such a distant figure to him. i too, was wondering how old dove is. he could be placed anywhere from age eight to fifteen. i think id prefer a fifteen year old dove, so as to stress the innocence of his mind, but i also like that you've never specified his age. it leaves room for the reader to make up his or her own mind. another thing i love about this series.

    PEACE and LOVE always
    | Posted on 2007-01-10 00:00:00 | by thehappyfaery | [ Reply to This ]
      ok, its been forever since ive even been on this site, and even longer since ive read some of the works on it. i remember reading your story before, and im glad that ive come across it again. its kinda different to read the story from back to front:P lol n e way, this is an interesting twist. i read all of the other entries and you keep getting better!! the only thing that confuses me is someties i dont understand what is going on. it all seems so disconected, like it doesnt all flow together. which i guess i could understand if this is written from a semi-insane perspective. BTW, how old is Dove? because he seems so young...is that just how you wanted him to be? like a child because that is how his mind developes? n e way, i really like your story, and cant wait to see what you ahve in store for your characters. just to say, i hate how much everyone takes advantage of poor Dove....they all seem so crule!! hopefully youll give him a break....;) lol good writing...~Nichole
    | Posted on 2006-12-24 00:00:00 | by butterfly_chi5 | [ Reply to This ]


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