Okay...first off, original write. I like the fact that you seem to write exactly how you would tend to speak. Really, I only have a couple of issues with the poem. Your comments section was "unspecified" so I'm not sure if you were looking for constructive criticism or not. Your first stanza starts off really well and and the trend continues into the second stanza. The third stanza, however is when your lovely flow seems to fall apart. Simply put, it probably needs some rewording. Just rethink it. I really do love the last stanza. IT's very interesting and true to your style.