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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: I Am Man...dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: rev.jpfadeproof
    ASL Info:    27/m/nyc
    Elite Ratio:    6.14 - 366/359/149
    Words: 208
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 905
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1130



    Description:
       just some flaring emotions...

    you must please forgive the awkward formatting,
    i still have not mastered it...

    this is a work in progress as all of my writes are here on es...

    asterism: a group of stars not belonging to to any of the 88 recognized constellations.

    red giant: a cool, red star many times larger than our own sun.

    binary: a double star, each revolving around the other.

    white dwarf: a tiny star comparable in volume to the earth, but with a mass equal to the sun's and a density a million times that of water.

    dark matter: comprising a large portion of the universe, matter that can not be seen but can be perceived through its gravitational effects.

    black hole: a star that has exploded and collapsed into infinity, leaving behind gravity force so powerful that nothing can escape it, including light.

    el Nino: given to a warm current of ocean water that moves into the coastal waters of Peru around Christmastime; the warm waters smother an upwelling of cold water normally in place with disastrous effects on sea life and worldwide wind and weather patterns.

    red tide: a bloom of phytoplankton that colors the water red and releases powerful toxins that kills large masses of fish and other sea life.

    meander: a bend of bulge in an ocean current that breaks off, forms and eddy, and moves off independently of the current that spawned it.

    shoal: a shallow area, a hazard to navigation.

    I AM THINKING ABOUT REMOVING THE VERY LAST LINE AND JUST MAKING IT " I AM MAN"...WHAT DO YOU THINK I OUGHT TO DO?


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI Am Man...dots
    -------------------------------------------


    The ravenous metaphors
    of my nihilistic dreams
    gnaw upon my destitute existence.

    A vacant throne reigns
    among the ruins of my kingdom,
    the reflection of my emaciated shadow ignites
    a pale image upon the sea.

    Like a snail stomped beneath ponderous foot
    so my essence is smeared among the humus of reality.
    Among the asterism of red giants,
    I am a binary white dwarf
    encompassed by the dark matter of a black hole.

    I am a paradox in three strophes,
    a mystery, an enigma,


    an El Nino red tide
    crashing against the barren shore,
    a meander, a shoal,


    a caged lion traversing this age prohibited to roar,
    a torn eagles wing, a voiceless cry,

    a humming bird
    soaring into the oblivion of the sun…

    I am man…






    Submitted on 2006-12-26 20:48:09     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      You were right bro, I do like this. Man is indeed all of those things and more! I even learned what a red giant is. Thanks buddy. I'm off to go read the other piece you suggested.

    6
    | Posted on 2007-01-20 00:00:00 | by fryte | [ Reply to This ]
      In a very eloquent way you have illustrated the idea in one of my poems and that is I am the breath of hell that love transforms into life. and while I don't believe we're doomed from the start of life, we wouldn't be here if we didn't need perfecting.

    I like how you've used the entire cosmos as a backdrop to show us, john-paul, the significance of our Creator and how His love makes us significant as we learn. Even being given a chance to have life and evolve makes everyone special.

    And your use of nature's powers to illustrate the insignificance of man is well done, but man is not insignificant in terms of what the Divine will aid us in doing. That, I think, is the difference between religion and spiritual lives. God is a form of magic and Christ came to show us how we can change the world in beautiful ways if we believe and our intent is pure.




    a humming bird
    soaring into the oblivion of the sun…

    I am man…

    the humming bird as an image is just right because God has given everyone everything, it sounds like a strong statement, but belief is very attuned to what we might cultivate as attributes. Beautiful write, john-paul, astonishing would say it better and I hope my ideas fit your intent for meaning.

    Nan




    | Posted on 2006-12-31 00:00:00 | by nansofast | [ Reply to This ]
      Just like a first anything is remembered, a kiss, a taste, an epiphany, I knew that Butterflies would always be my favorite work of yours.

    It was because you first came across my unfinished and littlest of poems, “This Ladybug.” You didn’t find “Obsidian” that brings tears to the eyes and mutes the voices of teenaged girls. As a man of God, you missed “Before The Dawn” a look into the mind of a Son of God before He came here. At the Cafe, I feature a poem called “A Poem,” written just for every woman who reads it and then puts it back on the shelf.

    I was disappointed Christmas day that the winner of the “Christmas” contest on the other site www.WritersCafe.org, did a cute “Home Alone” type piece as an apology to Santa for being bad. It was a letter from little Tommy, full of smashed fingers, burnt couches, hitting others with base ball bats, shaving the dog, and hitting the family car with a hammer.

    I realized that the sentiments were right, confession and forgiveness, etc. But for a gift that Santa would bring us? Is it any different promising to be good for a gift that God might give us?

    Anyhow, I spent the day after Christmas writing about an often forgotten Christmas gift and called it “My Hammer.”

    Oh, by the way, I think you should drop the last line. It is just a repeat of what your beautiful poem tells us!

    Donn
    | Posted on 2006-12-28 00:00:00 | by D McDaniel | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey Rev

    Stumbled on this while checking out some of Jason’s work. I AM MAN intrigued me. The title. Something about titles like that just generally evoke an interest within me. The name of my Trilogy is titled MANCHILD. All about the quirks us humans get up to. Any way, back to this.

    I like the singular statement you make in the first stanza. It can be interpreted in so many ways, but I think I prefer to think of it as such – BLUNTLY PUT – the greedy images of my dreams (filled with worthless human values) trouble my needy existence. I feel that everything that you wish to say is all just right here. And it’s quite a contradiction from the Rev.

    I like your use of language, it is very appropriate. I like that it sounds so different, almost like something not of this world. The imagery is excellent. I like that you took the time to explain all the terms in your description. I would have thought that a white dwarf is just as it said – either a white dwarf or a Caucasian dwarf. Hahahahaha!!!!!!

    I liked this and I like that pic too. Check out some more of your stuff later. And I would just leave it as it is..

    Other than that, I have nothing negative to add.

    Kritzman
    | Posted on 2006-12-28 00:00:00 | by K | [ Reply to This ]
      OK, so I read this while having to go to the bathroom. So I sort of spead read. And then I started getting into it and found myself slowing down to read it.



    Then I shat my pants.



    Just kidding.


    It was really good, I have no idea, it sort of slowed down my day...nice, man. I really like this. I wish I could offer words of wisdom, but you're a better writer than I am, so I have no idea what to say.
    | Posted on 2006-12-27 00:00:00 | by Secrets Unheard | [ Reply to This ]
      Sounds like a frustrating existence, typical of that for most of mankind. Like the famous "Most men live lives of quiet despiration" quote. Right on!

    I love the illustration used, always a major consideration to help set the mood. Is there yet hope for us? Only by faith, my friend, only by faith.
    | Posted on 2006-12-31 00:00:00 | by Blue Monk | [ Reply to This ]
      i really loved this poem. it was so unique and well written. it was like a refresher....like when all poetry is begining to melt together, this one stands out in the crowd. i loved it.
    | Posted on 2007-01-07 00:00:00 | by shayla8911 | [ Reply to This ]


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