[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Where Heaven Isdots

    Author: Amanda Lynn
    Elite Ratio:    3.09 - 332/193/56
    Words: 164
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 1639
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1138


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWhere Heaven Isdots

    The words trickle down my lips,
    the emotion drowning out all sound.
    The feelings flowing from my fingertips,
    the silence proving no one else is around.
    We grasp each other, we hold on tight
    to feelings so intense, we donít care if itís right.
    Every breath I take is yours, every resistance down.
    Your lips taking away every sound
    my body makes.
    Your eyes holding me captive,
    your willing prisoner.
    Your body promising heaven
    while your voice drips with every sin
    hell has to offer
    to two bodies becoming one,
    coming undone.
    My fingertips painting the portrait,
    your back the canvas,
    tell me, is this how you envisioned us?
    Red marks of pleasure,
    little beads of pain,
    mingling together,
    becoming the same.
    We fight not to loose control,
    we pray it wonít end,
    drowning ourselves in every moment
    our pleasure lends,
    until that one moment of weakness,
    a feeling so intense
    it leaves us believing
    we know where heaven is.

    Submitted on 2006-12-27 13:13:01     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I half ta tell ya, you're one of my favorite poets.
    Please I have to ask you, Is this a work of fiction or do you have insperation in the form of a living breathing person? I have to add this work to my list of fav's. I can only hope to write this good one day.

    The Poor Man's Poet.

    | Posted on 2006-12-28 00:00:00 | by Bobby K | [ Reply to This ]
      awesome imagery and word choices, i love it. really made me see myself with that special someone. great job
    | Posted on 2006-12-28 00:00:00 | by kase | [ Reply to This ]
      I really love this. Awesome imagery.

    My fingertips painting the portrait,
    your back the canvas,
    tell me, is this how you envisioned us?
    Red marks of pleasure,
    little beads of pain,
    mingling together,
    becoming the same.

    That was my favorite part. Awesome! Anyways, this is going in my favorites for sure. Great job!

    | Posted on 2006-12-27 00:00:00 | by precious_poetry | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow! can you paint a picture or what!
    If this poem were food, I'd be licking my fingers.
    all man! this poem is what I want in and from a person.
    someone I only find in my wet dreams or on a movie screen. this poem is more that hot.
    It's great and wish that I had written it.
    You go girl!

    The Poor Man's Poet.
    | Posted on 2006-12-27 00:00:00 | by Bobby K | [ Reply to This ]
      This has to be the BEST poem of this type that i have EVER seen...

    No comments.
    | Posted on 2007-01-03 00:00:00 | by psyko | [ Reply to This ]
      umm i add salt to to this, then garlic salt, then soy sauce and top it off with pepper. cook it in the slow cooker. when it's tender to the taste i eat more and more until i think i am not hunggry for the juicy details. in all reality i am still hungry.S o what esle can i do, but eat more.

    good aptizer, but not a main dish. lol
    | Posted on 2006-12-28 00:00:00 | by hotrodruss | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Etiquette written by saartha
    Shi written by ShyOne
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Still Perfectly Flawed written by armand
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    Cover written by saartha
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    Redemption written by poetotoe
    Love written by saartha
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    Carry written by saartha
    The World written by jjd
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]