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    dots Submission Name: abuseddots

    Author: Thief
    ASL Info:    22/male/plainview
    Elite Ratio:    4.8 - 180/80/69
    Words: 227
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 473
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 1418

       my story from when i was a kid....
    the time as to when i lost a lot of faith in your GOD...
    what made me what i am now!

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    he stands there
    as they yell at him
    bringing up his screw-ups
    that put him to shame
    all he could do
    is make a fist in his pocket
    they yell more and more
    and harder the fist he makes it
    he answers them not
    and keeps his head down
    where's the happy place others go to?
    cuz he needs to rid of the frown
    they get tired of yelling
    and slap his face
    then he stands there as comes a punch
    that puts him in a daze
    he lays on the ground
    feeling anger and pain
    he tries to get up
    but all energy is drained
    they yell
    "get up you piece of shit!"
    they hit him again
    and his mouth begins to bleed a bit
    but he hides it from them
    and gets up slowly
    they continue to yell and slap
    making him feel angry
    he takes another punch
    and sees a light
    he falls to his feet begging God
    give me strength to fight
    but instead gets hit again
    and he falls on his back
    one more hit!
    he starts to see black!

    a memory of all the yelling
    and no mercy from God
    feeling pain from all the hits
    receiving reactions like a dog
    the shame from doing nothing
    makes him feel weak
    so he disciplines himself
    waiting for his next beat(ing)

    Submitted on 2006-12-27 16:32:54     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      i like this.
    its so sad, but brings out so much truth.
    nice piece.
    | Posted on 2006-12-28 00:00:00 | by bestdeceptions | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow there was so much emotion in this. I could feel all of the pain radiating out from you. I think this was very well written. It made me remamember times when i had to deal with more verbal abuse rather than phsical but it caused a very simular hurt and this brought it flowing back. Great work on this!
    | Posted on 2006-12-27 00:00:00 | by FLHgg | [ Reply to This ]
      I could feel how the pain was and what he was waiting for next, which is a very good thing. The only thing thst threw me off was when you put "cuz" I think that you should have just put the whole word, but that is just me, either way pretty good job.

    | Posted on 2006-12-27 00:00:00 | by the_truth | [ Reply to This ]

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