By the Sea

Author: Jan ASL Info:    19/female/PA Elite Ratio:    4 - 227 /251 /39 Words: 42

Class/Type: Poetry /Misc Total Views: 1115 Average Vote:    No vote yet. Bytes: 393

Description:

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By the Sea

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Rocking, swaying Rolling, sailing Fingers clenching on the railing Salty, spraying Ocean breezes Buccaneers boozing Treasure pleases Mapping, steering Ropes and mast "Land a hoay!" and cannon blast Boots and buckles Rum and ration Life by the sea A pirate's passion

Submitted on 2006-12-27 20:03:11     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments

let me say first that i enjoyed reading this. i liked the imagery and appreciated all the descriptiveness. this piece was definitely a fun read. very clever. keep on writing, kat

| Posted on 2006-12-27 00:00:00 | by moonlitsky | [ Reply to This ]

very enjoyable! i am planning on going to a merchant marine academy where if i attend i must learn to sail and go aboard ships and spend up to six months at sea at a time....i've never been on a boat! or a ship! much less a dingy - so seasickness ahoy! very nice and well written too.

| Posted on 2006-12-28 00:00:00 | by SincerWritinAsh | [ Reply to This ]

Very good indeed.You can really feel the sense of the sea from your imagery and the rhyming is very nice.I particularly like the <Fingers clenching on the railing> part.I suppose it's a bit random vocabulary-wise but that's poetic license for ya! Short and sweet.Lovely work. Cheers A.Cowboy.

| Posted on 2006-12-28 00:00:00 | by Asakura Cowboy | [ Reply to This ]

This was a very good use of imagery. The rhyming scheme is the only criticism I can see. When you started the second stanza with another "ing" word, the pattern broke throughout the rest of that stanza (as compared to your first stanza.) Otherwise, I found it refreshing and salty.

| Posted on 2006-12-28 00:00:00 | by The Gadfly | [ Reply to This ]

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