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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Fighting the Tidesdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: particularshard
    ASL Info:    23/m/DC
    Elite Ratio:    4.21 - 1159/1392/363
    Words: 289
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 245
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1779



    Description:
       My county (near D.C.) is trying to suppress gangs, America Iraqis, the world as a whole its poor. Its a profitable but ultimately futile effort: its always very difficult for the minority to control the majority, and plus nature abhors large concentration gradients (even of intangibles like money and power).


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    dotsFighting the Tidesdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I find it funny when the frightened throw stones at water,
    Having seen how the tides crush stones and mortar.
    And its the same thing that they play with when its under control,
    That will fall down upon them and swallow them whole.
    It's unfortunate that they can't just move the cities,
    Though they had to know that the sand they were building on was shifty.
    And as I walk through the Dried Out, while I'm thinly contained,
    I feel kinship for the waves and the rain.
    I ask 'am I not just the same?'
    Wrapped in glass with the hope to keep me sa(n/m)e,
    But when theysuffer don't I feel the same pain?
    Perhaps becuase I can breathe on this land,
    I feel it my duty to bring the vengence in hand -
    To break holes in the dams,
    That hold my kin in small bands;
    Like little puddles, muddled and confused.
    Feeling that there's nothing they can gain now or lose,
    Feeling they have been denied all the options to choose.
    For them I feel that I should decide,
    Not to keep my inborn nature inside.
    I'd rather live truly and die
    At a young age than live old on a lie.
    I can't help but think that this dry,
    Static life is nothing more than a blight
    Upon a world submerged deep in water and strife,
    And further to hate the water instead of being contrite.
    So let the Oceans press in,
    Let the land feel its own suppression,
    And let this amphibian do what he can from within -
    God forgive me my sins.
    Because they won't comprehend,
    And they won't just let us blend,
    So the only fair thing is that the mountains descend.




    Submitted on 2004-06-02 13:57:59     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      wow...this really captures my thoughts and feelings about 90% of the time (the other ten i'm completely sold out or loathing my sold out-ness) To live in contradiction or to die for your beliefs...it amazes me that we live in a country that tells you to follow your dreams, live by your beliefs, loves movies about the underdog fighting against the big bad tyrant (Braveheart, Gladiator, etc...), and yet, if you really do any of these things, you are condemned by public opinion (or worse)....Braveheart is one of my favorite movies...i remember seeing it in the theater, people cheering, crying...how could they not all see our role in the film...We are the English King...i dunno...this is a great write...nice use of emotion and freewheeling rhyme schemes that ebb and flow with the tide...keep it up Thought, if for my sake only...

    james
    | Posted on 2004-06-03 00:00:00 | by FallenGrace | [ Reply to This ]
      I really liked the way you brought the mountains in at the end, it keeps the whole nature theme very strong. Amazing write! I think it was very thought provoking and deep. Keep up the good work, I look forward to reading more. BTW, I'm adding this to my favorites.
    | Posted on 2004-06-02 00:00:00 | by Unicorn Poet | [ Reply to This ]
      It really seems like you thought about this alot. Good write, imo, you kept to that whole sea/water thing nicely but I don't get the part with the mountains at the end. Probably my mistake. Bravo.
    | Posted on 2004-06-02 00:00:00 | by -YonY- | [ Reply to This ]



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