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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Abandon the changedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: -YonY-
    ASL Info:    18/M/Groningen,NL
    Elite Ratio:    3.36 - 21/28/31
    Words: 227
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 320
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1485



    Description:
       Didn't actually happen to me, but someone I know, thats why I can't really relate, and cannot express it better. Ofcourse, its not about the loss, its about returning to the way you were after a loss, obviously. Anyway, see what you think.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAbandon the changedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Myself before you left

    Greetings from Yony,
    As he sits behind the glass,
    Of the window that sepertates,
    The present from the past.

    A warm welcome form Yony,
    His body clam, dead and cold,
    Swimming through memories from a time,
    When he was innocent and not so old.

    A longing look from Yony,
    As he watches his shadow play,
    Drowing in the thoughts he thought,
    That changed him for good that day.

    A tearful eye from Yony,
    He now remembers the horrible past,
    He remembers your death that day,
    Thinking that this misery would forever last.

    A hand stretched out from Yony,
    Waiting for himself to grab on,
    Urging himself to come back,
    He’s been someone else for too long.

    A long lost smile from Yony face,
    He has finally found himself once more,
    The waters of death flood away,
    And out comes truth from the drain in the floor.

    He is one, he is me,
    Satified, I sit here today,
    He can breathe, he can see,
    Knowing that he is better off this way.

    She can change him for the better,
    Not for the worse.
    Even in her death,
    She is strength, not a curse.

    She may be gone forever,
    She may be completely earased.
    But she now smiles inside Yony,
    In that most central place.




    Submitted on 2004-06-02 14:05:29     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Very nice, I like how you did it in third person. A few mistakes in spelling, but other than that, a great write!
    | Posted on 2004-06-02 00:00:00 | by Unicorn Poet | [ Reply to This ]
      definitly different, I kind of got tripped up on the repetiveness of "Yony" but other then that and a few grammatical errors it could be a great poem!
    | Posted on 2004-06-02 00:00:00 | by Broken Angel | [ Reply to This ]
      that poem was good but confusing in a way that was wierd and good i don't really relate to what is being said but i did lose a friend not long ago to a watery death
    | Posted on 2004-06-02 00:00:00 | by kellz | [ Reply to This ]



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